Speechless (Muke)

DAY 3:

Luke sobbed. And it was this sound that finally made the girl look at them.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Luke shook his head. "No you're not," he sobbed. "You aren't sorry. It's f*cking pity and sympathy. Michael hated pity and I don't want yours,"

"Luke, mate. She didn't have anything to do with it," Ashton tried reasoning, but Luke was beyond that point. He felt insane, but he didn't even care.

"Yes she did. Everyone did. If the world wasn't so screwed up, if the people weren't such monsters. If we didn't destroy everything so perfect...that's why he did it. Because everyone made him,"

"Luke enough," Ashton said firmly.

"You guys were there right? When we were in the hallway after his dad had the gun. You heard what he said, what I said. If I had done something differently, something better. If I had shown him how much he meant-"

"Luke please," Calum begged. "I know he told you it wasn't your fault. Don't call him a liar Luke,"

Calum had Luke beat. Luke wouldn't dare to do that and therefore he had to stop blaming himself. Luke was reduced once again to tears.

"Tatiana said she would like to stay here with you if that's alright," the officer said.

Liz agreed immediately. This girl was the only reason Michael even had a chance.

Luke on the other hand couldn't do anything. His legs weren't able to hold him up any longer and he stumbled his way over to the chair he had made his home and collapsed into it. His hands grabbed at Michael's last note to him and he clutched it to his chest settling himself.

Calum's bottom lip trembled but he kept his promise to Michael and did not cry. Ashton was worried about Luke. He wasn't sure how long this would go on for, but for the time being he simply wrapped an arm around a shaky Calum and led the boy to a chair. Liz smiled down at Tatiana and placed a hand on her shoulder before guiding her to a chair beside her own.

Luke reached for his own stack of paper and began writing to Michael for that day. It took him a while to find a word he searched through the dictionaries Ashton and Calum had brought him until he found one that summed up how he had felt all day. And then he talked to Michael through words. Luke wasn't really good with his words, but Michael loved them, so Luke would write for Michael and he prayed that he'd be able to watch the boy read them all.

Luke knew he was in the wrong for snapping at Tatiana earlier. He had an emotional breakdown and he was just angry that someone could do that to Michael. That Michael could do that to himself.

It took him an hour to get around to it, but he knew he had to apologize to her.

"Sorry,"

"What?" Tatiana looked up at Luke with an eyebrow.

Luke hated that she did that. Michael used to do that. "I said sorry,"

"Why?"

Luke deflated. It was the question he didn't want her asking. "For freaking out earlier. It was uncalled for," Luke rubbed his neck and cast his eyes straight ahead looking clear over the girl.

"Your boyfriend is barely alive and you're apologizing to me for breaking down?" Tatiana questioned.

"Habit I picked up from Michael," Luke muttered.

"I should be the one apologizing for what happened,"

Luke scoffed. "You're the only reason he has a shot. You'd be apologizing for keeping him and I alive," Luke realized he slipped up as the words left his mouth only Tatiana was not prepared in anyway to handle them.

"Ashton!" she called.

Luke started crying again and twisted his fingers in his hair. Ashton's arms were there holding him up and Calum's eyes were locked with his, but Luke could not hear the words coming out of either boy. All he wanted was Michael. He couldn't understand why he just couldn't have him.

"Please get me in there," Luke begged. "I just want to see him. Touch him,"

"We'll get you in Luke. Just hang on,"

Luke nodded and let Calum and Ashton lead him over to a doctor who had just left Michael's room.

"Ma'am?" Calum asked, the doctor looked up and pity instantly swarmed in her eyes. "Do you think you could let us in? Just for a few minutes, please. Even just him," Calum gestured to Luke.

She bit her lip and nodded. "You have exactly five minutes," she said hurrying them into the room.

Luke instantly fell to his knees by Michael's bed a sob ripping its way up his throat. His hands enclosed one of Michael's and his head hung low his hair brushing the bed. "I'm sorry," he cried. "I'm so sorry, Mikey. I could have done something if I had only figured it out. I should have figured it out. I told you I loved you, but I couldn't see past your act. Why'd you have to act?"

The doctor came in before Ashton or Calum could talk to Michael's comatose body and Luke left a lingering kiss on the top of Michael's head.

"I'll talk to some people, pull some strings. There isn't any reason for you not to be allowed in, more the fact that he's just not stable right now, but that can be overlooked quite easily," the doctor told them.

Luke struggled with himself. He wasn't sure if seeing Michael had helped him now that he was forced to leave him again. But for the moment he was relatively calm. It really was Michael behind the door and Michael really was alive. So Luke clung to that and tried to ignore the transient girl named Tatiana because she was too nice for him to hate.

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