Chapter Eleven

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Clarke rubbed her forehead, trying to rearrange her cloudy thoughts.
She felt Lexa's stare cut deep in her skin, but she had to stay strong and protect her.

Clarke grabbed her wrist, and as she touched Lexa's skin, her fingertips began to tickle. How could someone so cold, have such an effect on her?

"I'm sorry Lexa. But I made a deal with Nia and--" she was cut off by Echo walking up to them.

"Clarke, the Queen wants to see you." She said and tightened the bandage around her left shoulder.

Lexa's body stiffened and she pulled her hood deeper into her face. Clarke let go of her wrist and stepped in front of Lexa, facing Echo.
Echo didn't pay much attention to the cloaked figure behind Clarke, she was busy messing with her bandage.

"Okay." Clarke said and nodded at Echo. She remained standing in front of her as Echo eyed her skeptically.
Then she left, still trying to shake the stiffness off of her left arm.

Clarke turned around and relief washed over her as she discovered that Lexa hadn't moved. Lexa looked her in the eyes and Clarke shivered as her stare bored right through her.

When Clarke told her she didn't need her, both of them knew she was lying. Lexa wasn't hurt by her words, all she felt was the tingly feeling inside her stomach, that was spreading slow but steady in her whole body.

"So what now?" Clarke whispered

"Go see Nia." Lexa answered calmly.

That wasn't the answer Clarke hoped for. She furrowed her brows, what answer exactly did she hope for?

Lexa noticed her confused expression and pulled out a dagger, holding it in front of Clarke. Clarke reached out to grab it and wrapped her fingers around its handle.

"Make her suffer." Lexa said, her expression grew dark.

Clarke felt sweat escape her pores and her voice was shaky as she looked down at the dagger in her hand and said "I don't want to kill anymore, Lexa."

Lexa smiled lightly "I know."

Clarke shook her head and her chest tightened. Lexa observed her struggle to breathe.
She swallowed the discomfort that formed in her throat, because she knew exactly how Clarke felt. Lexa didn't want to kill anymore either. She never wanted to.

"I never asked for this either, Clarke. But often victory stands on the back of sacrifice, and you know that." She said while tucking a strand of Clarke's golden hair behind her ear.

"Often doesn't mean always" Clarke tried to convince Lexa.

"This time it does." She responded cold and lifted Clarke's chin with her index finger.

The scar on Clarke's chin was swollen and she flinched as Lexa lightly ran her thumb over it.
The pain that shot through Clarke's face was heavy, but it couldn't compare to the heart ache she felt when looking at Lexa, knowing they couldn't be with each other. At least not how they both wanted it to be - in peace.

Lexa thought about what Anya had taught her and said "Go for the stomach."

Clarke pressed her lips together, forming a straight line and nodded.
She felt Lexa grab her hand and squeezed it encouragingly.

One more death. One more murder. One more sacrifice for peace.

Clarke hid her hand under her coat, still holding the dagger tight as she made her way to Nia's tent.
She didn't have much of a choice, did she? Survival of the fittest was cruel, yet necessary. It meant either kill or be killed, Clarke knew that.

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