I Am

a n d r e a

I am a n d r e a.

And I am fat.

I've come to terms with it, its just a part of who I am, whether I like it or not. Of course, I've been trying to fix it, as most do when they have certain problems.

After all, I wasn't always fat.

I remember a time when I was the fittest girl around, but slowly r y a n showed me what I really am.

F. A. T.

He reminds me everyday, the same four things with only slight variation:

You are stupid.

You are ugly.

You are useless.

You are fat.

In the beginning, I thought he was lying, just being a b u l l y, but then I realized that he's one of the only people telling me the truth.

I am stupid.

I am ugly.

I am useless.

I am fat.

Its something I've been trying to fix, as hard as I can, and I can't bear when people lie about it.

Even my best friend, j e s s i e, doesn't have the guts to tell me.

She lies about it all the time.

So when we're on the bus, and I tell her the truth, about how she's beautiful, definitely the s k i n n i e s t girl I know, all I get back are lies.

"Oh my god a n d r e a! What are you even saying?! You're so much thinner and prettier than me! Your a gorgeous stick for goodness sake!"

I just sigh, tired of her untruthfulness.

And when I finally make it home I go straight to the snack cabinet, completely unaware of what I'm doing.

I just know it comforts me.

And before I know it there's an empty family size bag of chips in front of me.

I am stupid.

I am ugly.

I am useless.

I am fat.

Very fat.

And I feel like a pig. A disgusting, bloated, fat pig.

So I run, as fast as I can with a body as large as mine, into my bathroom, straight to the toilet.

I need it out. I need it out. I need it out. I need it out. I need it out.

I NEED IT OUT.

And what better to help me with that than my trusty toothbrush.

Just a few pokes in the right place, a couple of moments later, and voila!

A family size bag of chips.

I feel much better now.