Bonus Chapter: Holbrook's Confession

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This scene below is set before this book in Ravenswood when Holbrook tells Alice that he really likes her after hanging out with her for a while. I've been thinking about writing a prequel and if you are feeling it, leave a comment down below if you are willing to read it!

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"Why are you looking at me like that?" The words fly out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Gabriel is sitting in the driver's seat of his black Prado and I am riding shotgun beside him. School let out fifteen minutes ago and Gabriel Holbrook once again had asked to drive me home.

I couldn't help but glance at his sculptured face several times throughout the journey home. I think I even caught myself smile involuntary in the side mirror before I pulled away, shook my head and looked out the window.

Now the car was idle, in front of my house and Gabriel had made no movement to unlock the doors like he usually did.

Instead, he stares at me.

Just stares with his soft handsome features that I could curve around my palms. His eyes are pools of admiration as he looks at me from the driver's seat; a certain and exact sort of urgency spreading across his face. A dangerous intensity that I never saw before and that makes my blood boil.

It was one of those looks people do when they are about to leap forward and do or say something they can't unsay.

"Like what?" he whispers, huskily.

My pulse flares at the texture of his voice and a shiver racks through my body and envelops my spine

No Alice. You have to think straight. You can't let your feelings get in-

"Like you are about to say something that you can't take back," I say back carefully.

"Alice.."Gabriel Holbrook says carefully, turning his body to face me so I can see the electricity in his eyes. His hands move to undo his seat belt.

"Gabriel, what are you doing?" I say like I've hiked mountains and never learnt how to breathe. I say like my lungs are reborn and they can't find the gene that lets oxygen in.

My arms tense in my seat.

"I need to tell you something and I want you to hear all of it," Gabriel says calmly as he leans forward. He looks anything but calm.

And for some odd reason, I know what he is going to say.

And oh god, I want to hear it. I want to hear it against my skin and down my spine and on the curve of my lips.

But I can't.

And so I panic.

"No no. No, just think this through," My voice is ruthless and unbound and shaking.

And Holbrook knows.

"You think I haven't thought this through, Alice?" Holbrook says as desperate emotions dilute his voice. "You think I don't go to sleep with you in my head and wake up with you in my heart? You think I haven't kept this to myself for a long time? Now I'm done, done with keeping this to me and I want you to have it."

My heart is no longer in my body, I'm sure of it. It can't possibly be as I stare at him speechless. He looks at me with longing and love, something that I was never bestowed before and I want it, I want it so bad.

But I can't.

I'm all full of 'can't" today.

But No, I have other things to worry about and I can't, oh my god I can't fall for Gabriel Holbrook.

Because if I do, I know I can't take it back.

It's him.

"I really really like you Alice," Holbrook sounds like he has run a marathon and his eyes look desperately insane and he really really really just won't look away.

"You're insane," I breathe.

And then the world stops.

He smiles a big beautiful smile, "For you, I guess."

And I can't stop staring at that smile.

"Don't say that," I breathe.

"Why? I like you Alice, a lot. I want you to know that. I need you to know that," he says back.

"And what if I don't want to hear it?" I say, my eyes back to his. Electricity sparks.

"It's my mouth and I'll speak it," he says, "and I told you, I don't think I can hold it in anymore and god, Alice, I know that you know that we have something. You can't deny that."

I don't think anyone could.

And I so desperately want to give in, but It is not what I need.

"It doesn't matter."

It doesn't matter.

And that's when I look away. I break eye contact and look to the front while Holbrook's breathing escalates and frustration enters into his list of emotions. I can almost imagine his eyes flaring out of irritation.

"How can it not matter?" he says.

"It doesn't matter because of who you and who I am," I say carefully.

He looks out the window, brows furrowed, "I can understand this if you do not like me but you haven't said any of that and I don't understand why anything else would matter."

My heart breaks a little and I almost love how he doesn't understand this. That he doesn't see what I am seeing.

It gives me hope.

Hope for me.

Hope for us.

But hope is so foolish.

And so I say it.

"I am not a good person Gabriel, you can't truly want to be with me," I say.

He scoffs.

"Being good and wanting to be with you has nothing to do with each other. I like you, good, bad and all."

I can't stand to look at him. I don't know what I would do if I did.

"That doesn't matter," I say, my breathing matching the pace of his. "Why don't you understand?"

Our lungs think we are climbing mountains.

My hand is on the door handle and I've already unbuckled my seat belt.

"There is nothing to understand. It just is," Holbrook says desperately.

Gabriel Holbrook hand flies out and reaches to touch my shoulder but I pull back.

And then I speak the last sentence before I open the door and leave.

"You are the only good thing left in this town. I couldn't forgive myself if I took that away."


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To be continued! 

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Love you all! Thank you so much for reading this story and it seems like I can't let it go!

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