SMOKE (The Aurum Trilogy Book 2)

Chapter 27

TWENTY SEVEN

Jonathan

I thrashed everything on my desk.

Paperwork was strewn across the floor and shards of glass was scattered everywhere. I kicked the table and it flipped over, my inner rage and fury taking over me.

What have I done?

What have I done?

I could still see her gleaming eyes, begging and mocking me. I could feel her body convulse as she gasped for air. I had almost killed her. Almost.

But do I really want that?

Do I really want to kill her?

"Tell me everything's gonna be okay." The memory sprung out too fast. She was in my arms again, all bloodied and beaten up.

"Everything will be okay." I tell her, planting a kiss on her forehead. Her eyes closed and her head rested on my chest. And for a moment, I didn't want her to die there in my arms.

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I enter her dark and damp cell. There was no source of light and I crept my way in the darkness. I dismissed my guards, telling them that I am capable of keeping my prisoner. I saw her lying on her side on the far corner of the cell, her body curled up so that her knees almost met her chest. Her chains were glowing an eerie shade of blue, labelling her name, her prisoner number and her charge. I had made those chains especially for her so that she would have no chance of escape. Only I know the codes to those chains. Only I can free her.

I walked and bent towards Lauren's sleeping figure and my fingers inched to her icy cold neck. There was tenderness in her skin, and I knew that my attack on her had caused bruises. I type the code on the chains for a moment, allowing her to be free under my watch. I knew I was being reckless and weak, but I just have to know.

I want to know who she really is.

The chains clattered on the ground, but Lauren still didn't stir up from her sleep. I carefully touched the wounds on her wrists and winced in pain at the sight of what I have done to her. I am a monster. I don't deserve whatever she used to feel for me or whatever we used to have.

I started to stroke her hair, feeling the tangles and the slight dampness of it. I hear her give out little puffs as she slept, those sounds causing enough memories to surface once again.

I see myself watching her sleep, my hands slipped in hers as I watched the rise and fall of her chest. Her little puffs made my heart melt and the sight of her peaceful face was all I wanted to see.

But right now, I couldn't risk shedding the light just to see it.

"Daniel?" She murmured. "Daniel, is that you?"

The name jolted my nerves. Daniel. Was it him? Did she know what has become of my former comrade?

"Daniel? Take me away from here..." She pleaded, her voice far from the warrior I know. She sounded like a frightened little child.

"It's me." I hear myself say. I wanted to be with her even if it was just a dream, even if I knew that we were on opposite sides. "I'll get you out of here."

"Dan? Is it really you?"

"Yes." I reply, my voice shaking.

"I'm sorry I had to leave."

"It's alright. I understand."

"You still love me, don't you?" I was surprised at her statement. There was something going on between them? I felt a pang of jealousy strike my chest. No. I am not supposed to be feeling this way. She was an enemy. She deserves to die.

"Yes, I do." I utter. "I still love you." The words were heavy, yet so full of meaning. It was as if I've said them before to her. It was as if by saying it, I've released myself of the burden my heart is carrying. It was as if the words suddenly felt so true and so full of life.

"Forgive me." She whispers. "I still love him too."

"Who?" I hear myself question her.

Silence.

           The only sound I could hear were her puffs and my faint heartbeat against my chest. She shifted from her curled up position, and faced the door. I waited for her response, eagerly wanting to hear her speak. I waited in silence. I thought she had stopped dreaming. "Jonathan."

The answer itself was enough to knock me off ground. Was it true? Did she love me? What happened in Argentum? What happened between us? Why can't I remember her? Why can't I remember what she can't forget? A million questions circled my head. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what to feel. She still loved me. She still loved me after I hurt her. She still loved me even if I felt nothing about her.

And it makes me want to remember more of what I shouldn't have forgotten.

"I'm sorry." Her voice started to crack. "He's here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He's here."

I rushed to her, stroking her hair and her cheek.  "Sssshhh... It's alright." I hushed, breaking down my guard. I was no longer the leader of Aurum. I was just Jonathan Kress, the son of a wealthy Control officer, the boy who used to take risks, the boy she used to love and continues to love. "I'm here, Lauren. I'm here. I'm here and I will never hurt you again."

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"No! No! Please don't! Please!" Never have I ever seen her this vulnerable. Lauren was not the type of person who pleads. She was a person who fights. Yet here she was pleading with my men as they led her to her former cell. Blood oozed out from her chains and I felt my heart being stabbed at the sight of her frail body. But I had to mask my disapproval of my own creation. Right now, above anything else, I nee to be a ruler. We were enemies. Not hurting her was impossible.

I had asked my men to segregate her mind. That way, we wouldn't have to undergo a lot of Inquisition trials. This process is going to hurt, but so be it. She chose the hard way. After this, I've planned her public execution in the nearest town square.

I watched from beneath the window. She was struggling till her very last ounce of energy. They injected another paralyzing drug on her and she remained stiff, making the guards easier to carry her to the metal chair of the Reader. I heard her muffled screams from beneath the glass. A soldier brought out his whip which cackled with electricity, and struck her. I saw a vein standing out beneath her neck as she yelled in pain, the whip hitting her back. Blood oozed from the wound as she convulsed on the ground. They brought her up to the chair, unbinding her chains and turning them into cuffs.  The soldiers strapped both her arms and legs to the chair and stuck the wires on her head.

"They're ready." One of my men said. He was handling the controls, his hand poised atop the red button that would allow us to delve in Lauren's mind.

"I'll take over." I volunteered. "You may now leave." My soldier saluted and hurriedly paced outside the room. I positioned myself in front of the controls and turned on the big screen. I took a deep breath and pressed the red button.