Little Things (One Direction Fan Fiction)

Ch. 25

****** HEY GUYS ITS LIKE 1:00 AM HERE AND I HAD A MONSTER ENERGY DRINK. I'm not sleeping tonight :) I'm feeling, like, SUPER poetic today so sorry if this turns out all poet-like. I love you all and sorry I haven't updated! My internet was down, I was in D.C., I sprained my ankle, I puked three times in one day, it was the last day of school yesterday, all my friends are moving, ugh, shit's just been going down. I'm going cray cray *******

.:Niall's POV

Dear journal,

I love Danielle.

I love Danielle.

I love her, I love her, I love her.

I love Danielle.

Why does life just want to kick me down every time I want to get back up? Why does it want to take its friends and beat me up as hard as they can? Why does it stalk me to a point where I don't ever want it to return? Ugh, life has been such a bitch lately. As in, something I can't deal with. As in, I've rekindled a habit that was never meant to be ever brought back. A habit that I have never, EVER been proud of. Something I'm not going to say, but you probably already know.

It's hard to shake, you know? It's just like smoking. You get addicted to the feeling of knowing you're going to die soon because of what you're doing and how no one is stopping it. You enjoy the feeling of your own pain and torture. You swim in your own tears for what seems like eternity until lack of energy drags you down. It's a hole that you were never meant to be stuck in, but fell when trying to save another. That hole is a million miles deep, and until someone gets a million ladders, I'm stuck. Lost. Alone. Gone, gone, gone.

All the years I've spent not trying to do it has wasted all my sanity to a point where its absence has made its friends, willingness and happiness die too, and love is just hanging off a cliff, ready to dive head first into the concrete below. But a single thing is holding it back.

A girl named Danielle.

In a universe with billions of words so though out, there is not a single letter that even comes close to the perfection that beholds her every being. The thought of her just trudging through life makes me want to take my own life for the sake of her own. Maybe it would be better that way. I mean, she doesn't like me. Why bother on something that you know will only become worse if tampered with? Why tamper with such a complete object anyways? Like the saying goes, don't fix what isn't broken. So I'm putting down my wrench, my hammer, my screwdriver and locking it away with the rest of my shattered pieces. Locking it away in a safe with twenty locks, twenty combinations and twenty reasons why it should never be opened again.

I leave on this note because I think it would be best this way. Better than to tell you my feelings this way than with things like... my habit.

Sincerely,

           Niall Horan

I shut my notebook loudly, exhaling my breath. I hadn't written like that in years. I usually wrote a song or two when I was feeling down. Hey, that reminded me....

.:Louis' POV

It was the day of the incident and Danielle was acting like nothing had ever happened. She concerned me sometimes. Her mental stability was questioned by, honestly, all of us. The thing was, none of us did anything about it. We didn't want to cross that line.

I was sitting in the family room with Danielle, Liam, Harry, and Zayn watching a movie. Once it was over, I realized Niall wasn't with us the entire time. "Uh... you guys? Has anyone else noticed that Niall's been gone the entire day?"