You are loved

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By Joona Irene

~~still Lilac POV~~

The sun was casting long dark shadows across the dirt. McGucket waddled towards his house before he shortly stopped and faced me. I suddenly became distracted by Bill's appearance of an aura. I paid him no mind.
        "Lilac, I wanna thank you for invitin' me to your party." McGucket said. I warmly smiled.
        "I actually didn't know about it." I said. "But I'm glad you came. If I had know about the party, I would have totally invited you."
        "Shucks, I 'preciate that." McGucket said. "It was fun and I got to eat cake! Sugary stuff like blankets and sticky nonsensical fababs! And I...well I...I'ma glad that I met you girly. Youra mah girly and I..." He seemed to struggle with what he wanted to say. He took off his hat and messed with it. I smiled and gave him a hug. He was startled but he hugged me back too.
        We broke the hug and I handed him his hat, which he had dropped.
        "McGucket, I-"
        I was interrupted by Bill. His aura suddenly dropped down into McGucket's head and I screamed in anguish. McGucket instantly fell asleep on his feet, his head slightly bowed down and limp.
        "No! No! Bill get out of there immediately!" I cried, shaking McGucket's body. "Not again..." I whispered. Why is he doing this? What could he possibly still want with me?
        I watched, helpless, as McGucket's aura became ripped out of his body and was replaced by Bill's. I was still, very still, frozen into place as Bill woke up in McGucket's body. I was so scared. No more intense or elaborate word came to my mind as I watched McBill blink one eye and then the next, falling chin first into the ground while he worked out the legs. I felt tight inside, and scared while McBill finally managed to stand upright and smile sickly at me.
        "Good evening." McBill purred. It didn't sound right. "So, Lilac, I have something I need to get off my chest."
        "Clearly." I frowned.
        "You chose your precious humans over me." McBill snarled.
        "Ooh, right to the point." I said angrily. "I had my reasons, Mr. Cipher. You insisted that we were friends and then you went back on your guarantees. I came to terms with what you really wanted. My power. And that isn't such a unique trait to find in most of my 'friends'."
        "I'm going to make this simple Lilac Whites." McBill growled. "You come with me, and I'll leave your human friends alone."
        "No."
        "Alright then, you leave me with no choice." McBill picked up a piece of sharp rusting metal and jabbed it into his arm. He howled from the pain, a grin on his face, as blood began dripping from the wound.
        "Oh my gosh." I whispered, eyes wide. He laughed triumphantly at my shock.
        "You see? You see I'm serious! I mean this Lilac! I will mutilate this body until there is nothing left for his ghost to return to! I will KILL myself, and move onto someone else you love! Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Wendy, none of them will be spared! You come with me, you be my partner, you do as I say, or else I will continue." His jammed in the rusted metal even more, then ripped it out and sliced his leg.
        "STOP!" I screamed. I leaped at him, tearing away the metal from his hands and throwing it out of reach. McBill cackled, and I knew that he was feeling the bond again. I knew that because I was feeling it too. But I ignored it and focused on the task at hand.
        "Do you really think this will change anything? Hurting people won't make me want to help you in any way!" I argued, pinning his hands to the ground. I fumbled with my sweater, which was now smeared with blood, and ripped off a piece to bind the wounds he was creating. McBill kicked and wiggled his way out of my grasp just as I was about to finish tying it. He hissed at me, tearing off the fabric, allowing blood to drip onto the ground. He winced at the pain but was smiling regardless.
        "Come to me, Lilac." He asked, face twisted. The setting sun cast a red color, making it seem like the entire world was drenched in his slipping blood. "Come with me. Submit to my infinite knowledge and power!"
        "You think there is something to be won," I hissed, "But there is nothing. I will not join you, I will not help you. We are done."
McBill's face contorted in anger. He began biting himself, and slamming his arms up against anything hard or dirty. I rushed to secure him, wrapping my arms so they extened around his entire body, holding him still while he struggled to continue hurting himself.
        "The Bond!" He screeched. "Does it mean nothing to you?"
        "Yep." I said through gritted teeth. He yelled, thrashing himself around. I tightened my grip, trying to contain him.
        "Bill," I said simply. "Bill!"
        "I will not rest! I will not rest! I will not rest until every human that knows anything about you is gone and dead! The air will be so thick with lost souls that you will not be able to find a place without an aura! You belong with me and I WILL GET WHAT I CAME FOR!" He screeched. He struggled even more, until finally I knocked him out with one swift head-butt. His body relaxed, but Bill's aura remained inside the body, which gave me relief. I ripped off a clean piece of the sweater and finished dressing his wounds. The ground was so badly covered in blood that it was actually slippery. It took all night but I finally managed to drag him to the nearest hospital, McGucket's aura following me the entire time. I checked with a doctor, to make sure that his body would be taken care of, before I kissed his forehead one last time.
        "You are loved." I whispered to McGucket's aura. Then I left the hospital and ran to the shack.
        It was dark now, and McGucket's aura was still with me as I climbed up to the attic window. I looked into the twins room at them sleeping, then tapped on the window. Dipper woke up with a start, noticed me, and then opened up the window.
        "Lilac?" He asked, confused and tired. Mabel woke up then. She rubbed her eyes as I stood on their floor, heart heavy.
        "Lilac, what's wrong?" Mabel asked. I looked at the twins, and briefly glanced at McGucket's aura. Their faces were covered in concern and traces of sleep. I sighed.
        "I love you guys." I whispered. I slowly took off the sweater Mabel had made me, folded it in silence and handed it back to her. Mabel examined the soft fabric, now sticky.
        "Is this blood?" Mabel gasped.
        "Lilac what's going on?" Dipper asked. It was dark and a cool breeze blew through the window. I knew what words I had to say, the words that would protect these kids from me, from Bill, forever. But to say them in actuality...to see their faces...how could I? But I must.
        "Dipper and Mabel..." I started. "Goodbye."
        "What?" They asked at the same time. I blinked, my face stricken with grief, and then leaped out the window for the last time. I flew into the night, far away. I left Oregon. I left the country. It wasn't until I crashed into the sandy white dunes of Hawaii that I stopped and curled into a little ball.
        "Why Bill?" I whispered. McGucket's aura had left a long time ago, somewhere across the oceans. I could only hope he got back into his body. I sniffed, and, seeing I was alone, began to cry. No tears fell, but the sounds I made displayed sadness and anguish in the best ways I could. I howled like a mother who had lost her children.

        They knew that I loved them, right? I would always remember them. I couldn't stay in Gravity falls, though. Bill wouldn't let that happen. I was facing isolation again. Full circle once more.
        "Goodbye Dipper. Goodbye Mabel." I whimpered.

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