The new girl in Gravity Falls; by Joona Irene

Looking back

By Joona Irene

~~still Lilac POV~~

        I stayed on the roof all day. Nobody seemed to notice, or care. I watched them all below me, walking around, throwing water on themselves, carrying bags of groceries and such. Sometimes a child would look up at me but then go on it's way without so much as a second glance. I sat on the warm tiles of whatever building I was on and thought about Bill.
        What would have happened if I had kept being "friends" with him? Certainly he would have asked me to do more tasks for him, maybe spying on Dipper and Mabel, maybe something more violent. That was always the pattern with those who I shared the bond with; they'd appear as friends, I'd do them favors, they'd ask for more and more until there was blood on my hands and it was too late. I hugged my knees, the journal safe in my belly. It was best that I stopped being with Bill now, before it got too far out of hand. He almost had me, I thought. Bill almost had me in his hand.
        Could I never have friends? True friends anyways. The twins had offered, and they were, but then Dipper just had to go...and steal from me. I clenched my teeth tightly at the thought. Sure he had questions, but did that really justify stealing?
        But what was I thinking, I just stole too. Or, borrowed, I guess. This journal didn't belong to Dipper, that much was obvious. Did Dipper steal this from someone too? That would make sense, he seemed willing to do anything for answers. But I was just as much of a criminal as Dipper. Sure, I served my time and eternal life is basically torture, but even so, I had to give this journal back. I looked at the sun, which had begun to set, and a small smile crept on my face.
        "So pretty." I whispered. "Look at that beautiful pink shade. So deep...so vibrant..." I sighed. What was I thinking, giving the journal back? Bipper would still be after it. I should wait until he leaves Dipper's body, and then I would give it back. In his triangle form Bill couldn't do much to the twins. Unless you were dumb, and didn't understand how the mind worked.
        "Lilac!" I heard my name being called. I looked down and saw Bipper on the street, and instantly I ducked down, pressing myself up against the tiles of the roof. Please don't see me, please don't see me, please don't see me...
        "Lilac!" he was calling, as if I was a lost dog. "Lilac, where are you? I just want to talk...!" He wandered to the end of the street. "Lilac!" His voice was getting farther and farther away. I waited, hoping he wouldn't find me. A few more moments and I couldn't hear him anymore. From sheer habit I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't sit up though, instead I rolled over onto my back and put my hands up to my face. I groaned.
        "Stupid bond." I muttered. "Why was that even a thing? What good would such a thing ever bring? To me, at least. I mean sure, for the other guy..." I rubbed my face. The night came and I stayed on the roof. The black ink covered the bright blue like hatred, while glistening tear drops from what used to be daylight speckled the despise. After a few hours the angry night was softened by lots of fluffy charity. They bunched together and I blinked. It might rain tommorow.
       Mmm...tomorrow.  Tommrow I'd have to go see if Bill gave Dipper his body back. If so then I could return the journal. If not, I guess I would keep waiting. And once I gave the journal back, what then?
       "Guess I'll find out." I said calmly.