Rupture // h.s au

32. "I'm done."

" You couldn't have sacrificed yourself for them, Harry, this isn't how it works."

" Then how? How does it fucking work? Cause I'm lost. I'm lost and I'm tired and I'm done. I'm just- I'm done, Louis." We began our silent walk back to the clinic, I hung my head low, attempting to block out all signs of grieving. I couldn't handle an accusing look from a mother who lost her child, or a husband who lost his wife. I had nothing to offer in consolation, no way to make this gruesome situation any better.

Once we reached the clinic, Rick was ridding himself of a bloody pair of gloves, and I wondered, if he knew whose blood it was, or if it was saturated with the blood of all the fallen men today. How disrespectful, and belittling, to be untraceable by your own blood.

" Zayn is in the back room, the others wounded are scattered on the beds, or sent home. We have total losses of 23 now." I shook my head in utter disbelief, feeling my mother's arms wrapping around my waist, as she laid her head tiredly onto my chest.

" Are you alright?" I whispered, for only her to hear. She nodded.

" Are you?" She tilted her head upwards, staring at me with compassion in her eyes. I smiled weakly, pecking the top of her head.

" Let me see Zayn and then I'll take you home." I released myself from her grasp, walking into the backroom where Zayn tiredly laid. His leg was in a cast, his hands crossed against his stomach. I almost turned to leave before he sleepily called for me. I approached his bed, a relieved smile settling on my lips.

" How are you feeling, mate?"

" Like I've been shot in the leg." He joked, his eyes only half opened.

" Yeah, sounds about right."

" How bad is it?"

" It isn't bad, you should be fine in a few days with the proper rest."

" Not that, Harry. I saw what they did, how bad is it?"

" It's... it's bad, Zayn, really bad." I released a frustrated sigh, as Zayn squeezed his eyes shut, grimacing upon the crises brought upon us.

" You were right, you know."

" About what?"

" About her. I mean, she saved my life. In a way, she saved whoever is left of us."

" She did."

" And you're okay? With her being gone and all?"

" We have more important things to handle right now."

" Doesn't mean it shouldn't mess you up."

" Yeah, well, first things first."

" I'm sorry, man. I wasn't the biggest fan of her, but when it came down to it, she did what none of us could have done." I merely nodded in approval, not trusting my voice to speak.

" Get your rest now. Louis, Niall, and I will handle this until you're better." I patted his shoulder, walking away with a small smile. I knew I had responsibilities to fulfill, people to take care of, supplies to offer. Collapsing was not an option. This was another thing I had to push through, till the stubborn ache subsided, and the hole wasn't as deep.

" Call everyone to the square, I need to talk to them." I announced, walking out of the clinic, followed by my mother and Louis.

" Raine is with Niall, correct?"

" Yes, he took her home and stayed there, because her father is still not fully recovered."

" Okay, good. I'll take mum home and meet you at the square." Louis gave me an affirmative nod, walking towards the tower to spread the word, while I continued my walk towards mum's house, with her closely following.

" Harry?"

" Hmm."

" Where is Autumn?" I had to swallow the lump in my throat at the mention of her name, barely preventing myself from visibly wincing, as I fixed my posture.

" Gone."

" Gone, how?"

" They were here for her."

" Okay, and?"

" And her father would have killed us all if he hadn't taken her."

" So you let him?"

" Fucking hell, mum, I didn't let him do anything. She knew what she had to do and she did it. And that's that." Suddenly, her hands grasped my own, bringing my march to a halt.

" First, you do not use this language with me, you hear me? And second, what was your role in all that? She knew what she had to, and she did it, so what the hell did you do? That's right, you let her." With a disapproving shake of her head, mum let go of the hand she held on to so dearly.

" I'll walk myself home." She declared, walking away from me, and never once, looking back.

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A/N: and there you have it peeps, hope you liked those two chapters, because you deserve a proper treat for how happy you made me :)

so I thought the first one to comment on this chapter and the last one (the two new updates) will get a preview of the next chapter through his direct messages and I'll answer whatever questions they have :)

let me know if you think of any other rewarding things for all you've done for me.

again, ily x