Tomorrow And Back {UNDER MAJOR EDITING}

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5 & 1\2 months later
Maya
Any day now I could lose josh I could lose everything I know Caleb just turned two and Kaleila turned one the twins are 6 months old I'm scared of losing josh I'm so fucking scared I don't want him to be gone just like that and I have less time than I wanted I wanted more because it felt like I was a little rabbit being shot and now I'm finally hit and this one is in my heart and I'm about to take my last few breaths before I die I can't memorize or process that I'm gonna lose Josh here soon with the last thing I could think about I don't even know I'm just so scared and now Caleb and Kaleila wontr have there father right now I'm laying in bed staring at josh they had trouble connect him to machines and stuff so he had more time but it didn't change anything anything I felt or anyone else in that matter josh woke up and looked at me he smiled and pecked my lips he got up and was walking across the room until suddenly he started shaking and fell to the floor I freaked out and called 911 I dashed to the floor and sat by his side my eyes puffy and o realized josh had his eyes closed I reached down and realized he had no I pulse seconds later he was being pulled out into a gorrney I got into my dear and raced to the hospital it took hours and hours of waiting
5 hours later
Everyone was in the waiting room the worst part is today is my birthday the doctor can out looking disappointed "he has 30 minutes left until he runs out of air all of you can say your goodbyes I'm sorry" he even sounded sad everyone went in one at a time 27 people in all were here I was the last to go in so I had 15 minutes with him now I walked in and he looked up I cried and cried as soon as I saw him lying there "Happy Birthday Maya" "please don't..Leave" I sniffled "I'm sorry Maya if I had a choice I would stay..oh and here I got you something"he handed me a closed flat present I smiled up at him "don't open it until I'm hone okay?" "Okay." I tried to smile but I couldn't I played down in the bed with him he started to him our song Tenerife sea I just sat there and listened until it stopped and then I held onto him and cried I stayed like that for a minute and got up I looked at his lifeless body and cried more "Godamit josh no no no fuck no please god god please please don't take him not yet godamit not yet please please please no please shit shit shit josh wake up wake up please please I can't I can't do it without you please please no no no no please don't leave it was suppose to be forever please godamit I can't live if your not here!"I cried and sobbed at the same time I walked out and into the waiting room Riley saw my tears and I ingulfed me in a hug I opened the present and saw a picture of me him Kaleila And Caleb causing Mr to cry morew