Will You Still Love Me After This Mistake?

Heal

Chapter 16

Patricia Kelly

"Jessica Clarke?" I hiss, my hand still cupping my stinging cheek. "I don't even know you. Much less, do I know you from school. "

Jessica steps back, hurt clouding her eyes. "Yeah I know.. It's just I recognized you, so I-"

I raise my hand in front of her face, signalling her to stop talking. "You do not know me," I growl under my breath, barely audible.

Jessica purses her glossy lips in a circular form. Her eyes dart away for my gaze, and her hand runs through her hair. She shrinks a little bit, too. She was very confident about talking to me, but she seems nervous now.

Don't piss off the dead girls' best friend.

"Look." Jessica lifts her gaze evenly up to mine, straightens, and places her hands tightly over her chest. "You could have just said, 'thank you'. I saved your life after all."

I roll my eyes, before I can stop myself. "I didn't want to be saved!" I shriek, throwing my arms into the air, then slapping them onto my thighs. "I just wanted to end my pain, alright?" My eyes flicker to the railing.

Jessica, noticing me eyeing the bridge ledge, steps forward and places her hand on my shoulder. "Patricia-"

I flinch away from her grasp, and glare at her angrily. "Leave me alone! You didn't lose your best friend. You didn't lose everything that mattered to you! You don't understand my pain!!"

She puts her hand down by her side, and stares at her feet. "I did lose someone who mattered..." Jessica mutters miserably.

I stare blankly at her, I have no idea what to say. The uncomfortable silence thickens that it's almost unbearable. I shift the weight in my feet. Left, right. Right, left. Finally I break the silence, as if someone had broken glass. "Uhm..." I croak.

Jessica puts her hands on her hips, and glares. "Yeah. That's right. I lost my boyfriend. He gave me this-" She raises her hand, and points at her ring-finger. "right before he died," her voice cracks on the last word.

I focus my gaze on Jessica's right hand. I realize there's a sparkle when the moon hits it. I take a step forward to observe it.

"It's a promise ring." She stares at it with grief.

I make a scenario in my head when she says that. I imagine Justin giving me a promise ring and then all of a sudden, he vanishes. I jolt from that thought. I feel pity for the fragile girl in front of me. I feel like kicking myself for saying she doesn't understand pain. She probably understood pain more than me. "How long ago...?"

She answers without looking up from her ring, "A year ago. Well it'll be a year in two months."

She's survived this long without the love of her life, yet I can't survive a month without Sammie. I feel ashamed, as my cheeks start to burn. "What happened? How... How did he die?"

Jessica catches my gaze. "He killed himself. His parents had died from a car crash a few years before, so he had to live with his uncle. His uncle would get drunk every night, and he'd escape through the window and come hang out at my house. Whenever I'd ask him what was wrong, he'd dismiss it and say nothing was wrong. One night, I got him to tell me. His uncle would beat him, and tell him that it was his fault that his parents were dead. His uncle would say he was a worthless little boy and he didn't deserve to live. I don't think his uncle ever tried killing him, but he was convinced he wasn't allowed to live. When I told him that we should tell someone about his uncle's drinking, he said we couldn't. He said that all Latinos drink at night, that even his parents would drink at night." Jessica looks up to the sky, probably trying to hold her tears in.