Sidemen preferences

Minimerkaa (Miniminter and Zerkaa) #4

This was requested by i_love_fanfics_xxx enjoy!

Warnings: Mentioning of depression and schizophrenia

All the sidemen and Calfreezy were at the fair having a great time; apart from Simon. Over the past 2 months Simon has been getting depressed quite a lot. He is able to get out videos but he fakes a smile and most of the time gets Josh to edit his videos for him. "Simon, are you coming on Twister?" Tobi asked as he stood with Ethan. Simon wrapped his arms around his petite waist and shook his head. "You sure?" Ethan asked. "No, I feel sick" Simon said; even though he didn't. It was a cover up to hide his depression. "Okay, see you in a bit" Tobi said and he and Ethan went on the ride. Simon watched as his friends had fun, without him. He then walked away so he could have some space. Simon began getting anxious; he needed to have some water to calm his nerves. He walked over to a stall and asked for water. He paid and walked away. Simon took a few gulps and felt a little better. Simon walked back up towards the ride. He took another gulp of water and he saw the ride slowly stopping. Simon finished his water and threw away the empty bottle. "Hey Si, why didn't you come on Twister with us?" JJ asked as the guys walked over. "I-I felt sick and needed some water" Simon said. "Okay" JJ said and went to talk with Tobi. Vikk came over to Simon, "You okay?" he asked. Simon shook his head, "I nearly had a panic attack... I got scared and had water. I feel like I'm going to faint" Simon said panicking. "Si, calm down; you're fine" Vikk said. Simon sobbed, "I wanna go home" he whimpered. "We've only been here for about an hour, you sure you wanna go? You have only been on 3 rides" Vikk said trying to convince Simon to stay. Vikk was the only one who knew why Simon had depression. Vikk took Simon to be tested and they diagnosed him with depression, anxiety and some negative symptoms to schizophrenia. Simon nodded his head, "Yes, I want to go home" Simon said. "Okay... Josh, come here for a sec" Vikk said and Josh walked over. "Yeah?" he asked. "Simon isn't feeling too well and wants to go home. Could you possibly take him?" Vikk asked. "Of course, yeah; I'll stay and look after him too" Josh said smiling. "Great, see you guys later" Vikk said and they said their goodbyes.

Josh pulled up outside the sidemen house. He shut down the car engine and he and Simon got out the car. Josh locked his car and then he and Simon walked down to the front door. Josh then opened the door and they went inside. "Do you want anything, Si?" Josh asked as he shut and locked the door. "Err, I-I'm good, thanks" Simon said and then ran upstairs to his room. Josh sighed and decided to make Simon some toast and a glass of hot chocolate.

Simon shut his bedroom door and began pacing his room. He felt a panic attack coming on or something is about to happen. He can hear the voices in his head telling him to do things he doesn't want to or shouldn't. Simon then remembered he hadn't taken his medication so he began to panic more and began searching for them. "Fuck..." he grumbled as he couldn't find them. Josh then came in his bedroom and saw Simon moving around. He placed the drink and food on his desk. "Simon, what are you looking for?" Josh asked concerned. Simon looked at him, "I-I lost something... and I really, really need it... like right now" Simon said and began searching more. Josh cleared his throat, causing Simon to look at him. Josh then pulled the medication out of his back pocket, "These by any chance?" Josh asked. Simon gulped and nodded, "How did you find those?" Simon asked ashamed and scared. "They were in the kitchen behind the bread. Simon, you know how much I care for you; so why didn't you tell me you had slight schizophrenia and depression?" Josh asked him worriedly. Simon tried to explain but he just couldn't hold it in anymore so he cried. Josh walked over to him and hugged him. Simon held Josh tight and they sat on the bed.

Once Simon had calmed down Josh passed him his drink and Simon took his medication. "I made you some toast also, if you'd like it" Josh said. Simon nodded and Josh handed him the plate. "Thanks" Simon said small and began to eat the toast. Once he had done that he and Josh lay back on his bed and Simon told him everything about the past 2 months of his life.

"Oh Simon, I feel sorry for you" Josh said looking at him. Simon looked around the room and heard whispers. He gulped and snuggled closer to Josh. "You okay?" he asked. Simon shook his head, "The voices" he whispered. Simon looked up to the ceiling with tears falling from his eyes. "Leave me alone..." Simon sobbed. Josh held Simon close, "You're safe with me, Simon" Josh whispered. "No, no, no, no, no, no..." Simon said and crawled on the bed. "They won't leave me alone!!" Simon shouted. Josh sat up and held Simon's head; forcing him to look at him. "You are strong Simon. You can ignore them, don't listen. Listen to me okay?" Josh said. Simon looked around and more tears fell. "Simon, look into my eyes okay" Josh said. Simon looked at him, "Make them go away, Josh" Simon sobbed. "You need to be happy, what makes you happy Simon?" Josh asked. "YouTube, the sidemen... you" Simon said looking at Josh. "That's good, what else?" Josh asked. Simon gulped, "They're coming, I can't take it anymore" Simon sobbed. "Come here then" Josh said and crashed his lips to Simon's. Simon went to pull back but Josh held him there. The voices faded out of Simon's head and he smiled into the kiss. Josh pulled back and wiped his eyes. "You happy now?" he asked. Simon sniffed and nodded, "Yeah" he said. "I love you Simon, I hate seeing you like that" Josh said. "You doing that has given me confidence; I think I can fight my schizophrenia and depression now. I love you too" Simon said. Josh jumped onto Simon causing them both to laugh. Josh then connected their lips. Simon kissed back and they enjoyed each other's company. They soon pulled apart, "Shall we head back to the fair?" Josh asked. Simon looked at him; "As long as you hold my hand when I go on rides with you" Simon said grinning. Josh smiled, "Of course, babe" Josh said. They got off the bed and left the house, together.