Emma

Getting Too Close

"Emma?"

I look away from the window and turn to David. "What?" He looks worried, which worries me. "What's the matter, David?"

"You." He removes one hand from the steering wheel and entwines his fingers in mine, keeping an eye on the road. "I know that look."

My eyebrows contract, "What look?"

"That look when you're nervous."

"I have a nervous look?"

"Yep, you do." He squeezes our hands. "You tend to wear that look a lot." He's probably right. I'm a very apprehensive person. "What are you worried about now?"

I tilt my head and tap my chin, "Let's see: we're about to pull up to your parents' house and meet your entire family and closest family friends who will silently judge me as I slap on a smile for them all. This is only the biggest step I've taken with a guy, ever, so no pressure." I feel like I'm going to throw up. "I really want them to like me."

"Don't worry. They're going to love you." He brings our hands to his side of the car and plants a little kiss on my hand. He cheeks flush a light red, "As much as I love you."

My heart drops into my stomach and stops for a moment. Where did that come from? I was not expecting him to say that. At all. And he said it so casually. What he said was a big thing. A really big thing. And I'm just sitting here like an idiot, not saying it back, making this even more awkward by the second.

I guess I should've seen this coming eventually. We've been dating for a few months now. But I don't know what to say. Should I say it back? And what does that mean now? How will this change things for us? Last time I told a guy I loved him took it as I was his property. He hit me if he wasn't happy with me, and never apologized for it. But David would never do that.

"There's that look again."

"David, I- I don't know what to say. I-" Do I love him back? Do I?

We finally pull up at to his parents' house. We sit in the car, waiting for something to happen next. I stare down at our hands, now laying on the center console, trying to think of a way out of this... uncomfortable situation. Crap, what should I do? Just say it back?

I open my mouth to say who knows what, but he beats me, "I don't want to hear it if you don't mean it." I'm taken aback and shocked. "I know your looks. You look unsure right now." I frown. Am I that easy to read? "Sorry for just saying it. I know it's suppose to be romantic when someone says 'I love you', but it felt right. I was planning to wait for tonight... but I guess it wouldn't make a difference now." He looks disappointed.

Why would you put me in this weird position, David? You're so nice and sweet and perfect, and I totally don't deserve you! Now I feel like a total, well, bitch for not saying it back. I want to, but only because I want to to say it, not because I feel that way. But I might feel that way. But I'm not sure yet. I need time to think about this. He shouldn't have just blurted it out to me, especially tonight.

"We should go inside before you're parents wonder why we're running late. We're already half an hour past the time we said we'd be here." Without waiting for him to agree, I step out of the vehicle, carrying the brownies I baked for the occasion in one hand. I flatten out the summer dress I had on as I walk to the front door. I can see my own reflection in the glass. The rich purple dress looks unusual on me. I'm not a dress person, so I'm not pleased. I push my glasses back up the arch of my nose and take a deep breath as I see David coming to join me.

I avoid his eyes as he knocks on the door. What I presume is his mother answers. "David! It's been too long since I've seen my little boy!" She pulls him into a hug and kisses his cheek. "And this must be Emma. So nice to meet you!" She hugs me as well. "Come in, come in!"