When I Die

Chapter 14

Jared ended up spending the night. Which our parents where all okay with. Dying perk.

He layed beside me shirtless. I layed cuddled up to him in my bra and underwear. I remember to hook myself up to the machine so I could get my meds throughout the night.

The sun woke me up and I looked up at Jared. "Hey."

His eyes fluttered open. "Hey."

I turned away, feeling nausas, grabbed the bucket beside me and threw up.

Jared sat up and rubbed my back. "Babe, you okay?"

I nodded as I threw up one last time. "Side effect."

He nodded as he helped me set the bucket down and grabbed my shirt. I put my shirt on, which was a loose white tanktop, and then grabbed my shorts and pulled them on, I grabbed the bucket, and made my way out the door to dump the vomit in the toliet.

Dad was in the living room watching TV. "Hey, how'd you guys sleep?" Dad asked, looking up from his paper.

"Pretty good." I said and then lifted up the bucket. "I puked again."

Dad got up to help me with the bucket.

"Hey Jared." Dad said as he passed my open bedroom door to a nervous Jared. Jared gave my Dad a shy wave.

"Let me take care of that, Tori." Dad said, taking the bucket away from me.

"Are you sure Dad? I don't mind."

Dad shook his head and headed into the bathroom and started dumping. "It gets pretty heavy. I don't want you to cause more damage than there already is."

I sighed and shrugged. "Dad, I'm not a little kid anymore. I can do my own things."

Dad walked over to me, leaning on the door frame of the bathroom. "Honey, you're sick-"

"So!?" I was raising my voice at this point. I hated how everyone treated me like a baby just because I am dying.

"Listen-"

"No!" I butted in. "You listen! All my life I've had people feeling sorry for me! Treating me like I was a basket case or whatever! This is no damn picnic for me, Dad! I just want to be treated like a normal person. Someone who isn't on the verge of death."

Dad sighed. "We'll talk about this later. I need to clean the bucket."

Dad walked into the kitchen as I walked to my room. Shutting the door behind me.

"I'm sorry?" Jared asked confused. Jared got up and walked towards me.

"I'm so damn sick of this!" I shouted but Jared cupped my cheeks with his hands and kissed me.

"I love you." He said as he pulled away. "Now stop overthinking everything."

"I can't" I replied. "Everything's too confusing."

Jared leaned behind him to where his shirt and jeans where rested on the bed. "How about we get ready and we'll go for a walk. You like that?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I walked over to my dresser to grab clean clothes for myself as Jared put on his clothes from the day before, putting on his grey hoodie.

"It's pretty cold out, Tori. Grab a sweatshirt."

I did as he said, grabbing my old school sweatshirt before we headed out.

We walked down the street. Jared was right. It was cold. I dugged my hands in the pockets of my sweatshirt as Jared did the same.

"God, it's cold." Jared said as a shiver ran throughout his body.

"It was your bright idea to come out." I laughed.

"How about we sit for awhile?" Jared asked, motioning to a nearby bench.

"Sure."

He lead me the way and we sat down at the same time. Jared put an arm around me and brought me closer. I placed a hand on his thigh, massaging it.

Through his frost bitten cheeks, I could see a tear stinging it's way out of his eye.

"Babe?" I asked. No response. I scanned him, feeling worried. "What's wrong?"

"Fucking everything." He said in a low voice, barely above a whisper.

I moved my hands up to his face and gently wiped away the tears. He winced a little at the touch.

"I'm... sorry." I said, making him look at me. "I told you, I can't control anything."

He looked me in the eyes, I can now see dropplets of tears forming in his eyes, having trouble escaping his eye sockets. "The doctors can't do anything?"

I shook my head. "No." My voice almost a whisper. The word came out a bit shakey as I realized I was on the verge of crying too.

I wrapped my arms around his waist as he did the same. We both crying into eachothers shoulders.

"Mmm Hmmm." We heard a small, child's voice from in front of us. We moved apart to see that it was Tommy.

"What?" Jared asked, kind of annoyed.

"Mom wants to know when you'll be home."

Jared sighed and threw his head back. "I don't know. Just tell her I'll be home before 6."

Tommy nodded. "Okay. Bye Jared. Bye Tori." He waved and he ran down the sidewalk to his house.

Jared sighed again. "I hate having a little brother sometimes."

I smiled. "But he's cute."

Jared chuckled. "Yeah, he's pretty cute. That adorable baby devil."

"Do you love your brother?" I asked a little more serious.

Jared nodded. "Of course."

I turned to face him. "Then promise me one thing."

"Okay."

I took a deep breath before speaking. "When I die I want you to focus on your brother. Don't spend your time thinking of me. I want you to be with your brother."

He looked down, dissappointed. "Okay." He then looked up at me. "You think if my parents get a divorce they would seperate me and Tommy?"

I rubbed his back. "No. They'd have to be complete asses to even think that."

He looked straight and suddenly punched his knees. I jumped back a little at his actions. "I HATE THIS!"

I got closer to him, one hand rubbing his back while the other one rubbed his stomach. "Shh." I tried to calm him down. "I hate it too." My words stuttering as tears began to fell. "We'll just cherish the lasting moments we have together. Okay?"

"Okay." We paused before he continued. "Perhaps okay could be our always."

I laughed. "Shut up." He started laughing too. "There's my happy Jared." I moved in closer and pecked his lips and we just held eachother knowing that we weren't going to get too much of these embraces.

And in that moment I found the one. He would be there through everything. He'll never leave even when I do get worst. He's the love of my life and our love will die with me.