Pieces of Forever

14 - MELISSA

I love you more. I think about the words Jason would say back to me.

"I love you too, ma."

Naw, I love you more. I would say back to him. Then, he would tell me he said it first and make a silly face or stick his tongue out at me. Damn . . . faking it is harder than I thought, but I will fake it, until I make it. Eventually, I'll fall in love with Cameron. Hopefully.

****

Cameron walks into the kitchen with a silly grin on his face. I look over my shoulder at him and give him a light smile. I go back to the task at hand, preparing breakfast for us.

Last night was sweet between us. I actually let him in my heart a little and we made love. It's weird to be with Cameron, because I still feel like I'm cheating on Jason. I have to keep reminding myself that Jason and I are getting a divorce.

Cameron walks up behind me and gives me a gentle kiss on the side of my neck, wrapping his arms around my body. I lean back on him and close my eyes as he begins rubbing my stomach.

"Morning, beautiful." He whispers against my skin.

I tilt my head up to get a better look at his face. "Morning."

Cameron gives me a peck on the lips. "My baby in the kitchen cooking for us."

I giggle at his words, turning around completely in his arms. "Well, you deserve it. I have to keep that energy up, baby."

Cameron licks his lips a little, keeping his eyes on me. He puts his index finger underneath my chin, lifting my head up a little. "I love you."

"I love you too, Cam."

He quickly brushes his lips against mine and then leans over me, grabbing a piece of bacon off one of the plates. "Baby, I have a couple errands I need to run."

"Oh."

I know what his errands are. He's a dope dealer, and I'm aware of this. This is not the kind of life that I envision for myself. I'm not the kind of girl that can be with someone like that, but here I am.

"I'm about to take a shower and head out. When I come back home, you want to do something?"

I fake a small smile. "Of course."

He kisses me again on the lips and grabs another piece of bacon. "We'll for sure have dinner together. I love you, ma."

I wait for him to walk out the kitchen, before turning back around to the stove. I sigh and begin to fix my plate.

*****

"Hello?" I answer the phone almost immediately. It's so boring to sit in the house and do nothing all day.

"Hey, Mel." Jasmine's voice comes over the phone. "I was wondering if maybe you would like to hang out today?"

I don't say anything right away. I don't know how I feel about hanging with Cameron's little sister. I've gotten over her revealing to her brother that I was pregnant. . . I think.

Jasmine clears her throat. "You and I are sort of family. I'm just trying to get to know you a little. You're dating my brother. I'm dating your brother. There's no reason why we can't try to be friends."

"When you told your brother about my pregnancy, after I told you why I was keeping it a secret, what were we trying to be then?" I question her. I suppose that I'm not over it, like I thought I was.

"I told you that day that me telling him wasn't to hurt you."

But it did. I think to myself. I could have gotten away with carrying this child full term, if it weren't for her. If it weren't for Kerri . . . If it weren't for me, being a liar and cheater. I guess it could be anyone's fault, but it ultimately falls back on me.

"What do you have in mind?" I ask her. I am now dating her brother and might be having his child. I might as well try to be a part of his life. Be a part of his world.

"Anything." She breathes out, and I can swear that I can feel her smiling a little. "Want to try something simple? We can go out to dinner?"

"We can't do dinner. Cam is supposed to be home in time for us to go to dinner with one another."

"Oh, we can double date. Charles and I, and Cam and you. What do you think?"

No. I think to myself. I don't want to go on a double date with my brother, nor his girlfriend. I barely like going out with Cameron by myself. Instead of saying how I feel, I push my thoughts far far away. "Sounds perfect. I'll call Cameron and set something up. I'll give you a call back later, Jasmine."

"Call me Jazzy. That's what your momma calls me."

I'm aware. "Okay, Jazzie." Her nickname sounds so foreign leaving my lips.

"Later, Mel." She ends the call.

I look at my phone for some time, before finally deciding to send Cameron a text. I hate my new normal.