Dear Ana,

aut Pax aut Bellum

Evan and I have been dating for three months now.
To celebrate, we were going to spend the day in the park together.
The weather would not have it. It was pouring rain outside.
A very gloomy-grey clouded Saturday.

I texted Evan:
"Still on for today? Not really weather for the park..."

He replied swiftly:
"We could stay inside? Maybe watch a movie :)"

"Sure, sounds nice. I'll put some movies ready."

My parents were out for the day, thankfully.
I put on some hot water for tea and laid some movies out.
The door bell rang and I skipped trough the hallway.
I opened the door to see a soaked boy.
Evan looked at me, his smile was sweet even though water was dripping from his eyebrows.
He makes my heart beat faster every time I see him.
"Hi." He said.
"Hi. Come in."
He looked happy, but also slightly annoyed because of the weather.
I looked at him with a pitiful smile.
"Poor you, I'll get you some towels."

I jumped up the stairs towards the bathroom and grabbed a big towel.
I went into my brother's room.
Jake is still traveling, he won't come back for another few months.
He won't mind if I lend some clothes to Evan.

I handed the clothes to Evan.
"Change into these, it'll be much better. I'll put your clothes in the dryer."
"It's okay to wear these?"
"Sure. My brother is away for a while. He won't even notice."

Evan went upstairs to change.
I didn't let him change in my room, because I was afraid he might find the diary.

He came downstairs. I was dipping the teabag into the hot water.
Evan hugged me from behind and softly kissed my cheek.
"Thanks for the clothes."
I smiled and turned to face him.
I kissed him properly.

We sat on the couch. Evan was deciding between the movies I had chosen to watch, while I was looking at him with a warm mug full of tea between my legs.
He had decided on 'The Breakfast Club'.
"A classic." I smiled and turned the to on.
In the first half an hour, Evan and I were sitting next to each other.
However half way through the movie we were practically sitting on each other's laps.
Evan smirked cheekily at me.
"We've got the whole place to ourselves."
I saw were this was going. I stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen counter. I pretended to make some more tea, but really I didn't know what to do with myself.
My stomach is fluttering like crazy, I'm feeling really dizzy.

Evan approached me and placed his hands around my back, softly pulling me in his arms.
I wrapped my arms around his neck.
I'm not ready for anything intimate.

Evan smirked again, more playfully.
He started tickling me.
Slightly surprised, I started giggling and laughing.
"Stop!" I squealed.
Evan laughed, he wouldn't stop.
I fought my way out of his embrace and ran through the living room.
Evan chased me.

He caught me once again. My sides were aching from laughter.
"Evan stop!"
He finally stopped. I noticed we managed to get ourselves into a rather sexual position:
I was lying on the floor and Evan above me, pinning me to the ground.
I laughed with slight embarrassment, I could see Evan felt the same.
Still, he made me feel at ease, he gently moved off of me and helped me sit up.
He then kissed me, we kissed, properly making out.

Evan lifted me up and placed us on the couch.
We continued making out, it didn't feel long, then again I had lost all perception of my surroundings, including time.
When my lips lock with Evan, I am really somewhere else.
I'm not a girl with a severe eating disorder, I don't feel like me.

All I feel is the love I have for Evan, and the warmth of his lips on mine.