R5 Imagines

Ross Imagine - anon

 "I cannot believe you!"

"Oh, so now this is all my fault?" I hear my dad yell back at my mom as I walk through the front door of my house. I slam the door shut loudly behind me but I know I won't get yelled at since my parents are at it again.

These days it's become weird if my house wasn't full of raised voices and angry tempers. I don't even know what they fight about anymore. It started off as little things but I always felt like there was something bigger behind it all. The truth is though, I don't really care what it is. All I want is for it to stop but that doesn't look like it'll be happening any time soon.

I trudge up the stairs to my bedroom, not even going into the kitchen to tell my parents I'm back from school. Closing my bedroom door shut behind me I wake up my laptop sitting on my desk and open my music library. I press the volume button on the keyboard repeatedly until my parent's voices can no longer reach my ears.

Opening my backpack I start my daily routine of pulling out my homework and getting started on it right away, being able to then leave the rest of the night to myself. I easily get through my math and history work. Excited to be done I turn to grab my running shoes hidden under my bed to only notice that it has begun to rain. I sigh as I walk up to my window and watch the fat rain drops wet everything in sight. So much for getting out of this place!

Jogging has been a big reliever for me lately and days like this when I'm stuck inside usually prove to be the worst as that means even more time having to listen to my parents. Keeping my music cranked up I decide I may as well get started on my personal narrative paper for my English class. It is a requirement for every senior to write this eight to ten page paper as we basically create an autobiography of our lives so far and discuss our future plans.

I guess if anything this rain is forcing me to start on this, I think to myself, seeing as it's due by the end of the week and I don't even have a title page yet. The beginning of the paper comes easily to me as I talk about my childhood but by the time I reach the high school section of the paper my fingers start to freeze over the keyboard. All I can recall of the past two years of my life is a house full of shouting that I get to come home to every day.

I fear I'll break the backspace button on my keyboard as I repeatedly start over, wanting to finally tell the truth, but not wanting anyone to know about it at the same time. There are only two people who know about my hellish household: my best friend and my boyfriend. I can't even remember the last time I had anyone else over to my house because I didn't want them to have to go through the awkwardness of hearing my parents fight.

I decide to skip over that paragraph and jump to the future part of my paper, writing about the college I plan on attending and my future job. Even with the one section missing, my paper is still only five pages and I know I need to add something somewhere. Going back to my final paragraph of the future I start to write about keeping in touch with old friends while making new ones in college, something I have become very excited for. Then I start to imagine my home life in the future and my mind goes blank. Due to money I have decided to stay home for college, choosing my parents over debt.

As I imagine what it will be like, with the yelling continuing, tears start to prick at the corner of my eyes. Either my house will be full of shouting or it will become silent as my parents get that divorce they have been threatening at each other for so long, but still neither has made a move to file one. My parents used to be so in love, a type of love I envied when I was a young twelve year old and dreaming of my future wedding with Taylor Lautner. If two people can all of a sudden change the way they feel about each other, and in such a drastic way, then what does that say about me? Does that mean I'm destined to all of a sudden hate Ross in the future? Will one day I wake up and throw disgust at my boyfriend sleeping next to me, dooming our relationship for good?

I quickly brush the tears off my face and slam my laptop shut, cutting off the music, but I am surprised that there is no longer any yelling that needs to be blocked out. Not even caring or bothering to investigate what downstairs holds I just grab my phone and curl up on my bed, facing the wall with my back to the door.

After mindlessly scrolling through social media my phone starts to ring in my hand as Ross calls me.

"Hey," I answer the call, trying to mask the real tone of my voice and sound a bit happier than I actually am.

"What's wrong?" my boyfriend quickly asks.

"Nothing!" I lie, wishing that Ross didn't know me so well.

"Are you at home?" he asks. When I tell him yes he says he'll see me soon before hanging up. I know he's coming over but I remain curled up in a ball in my bed, not even caring at this point.

Before long Ross is knocking at my bedroom door.

"Come in," I say and I hear the door open and then quietly shut as Ross steps into my room. I feel my bed shift as he sits on the edge of the bed by my feet. By just placing a hand on my leg my emotions easily go into full-blast as the tears start to fall again.

Ross sighs, not in an annoyed way but in a concerned way. My bed is large enough that he lays down next to me and I scoot over, allowing him to comfort me as I turn around and bury my face in his chest, his arms wrapping around me as he rubs my back.

"I'm here," he whispers as I continue to soak the front of his shirt with my salty tears. After a while I calm down enough as my eyes dry up and the sobbing slows, allowing me to actually speak.

"Do you want to talk about?" Ross asks as I move my head back, leaving only a few inches between the two of us. I contemplate saying something, knowing that he won't push me one way or another to explain. I try to keep him in the dark as much as possible about my parents, not wanting him to know how much it bothers me, but he and I are both aware that he can see right through my fake grin and carefree shrugs.

Looking into Ross's soft brown eyes that are so full of trust I tell him everything. I explain how sucky it is living with fighting parents and how much it really does bother me – not like that part surprised him. He stayed silent as I told him about my English paper and how I couldn't picture a future with my family; how I couldn't even picture me with my own family what with having such terrible examples of loving parents.

"And all I can think, is what does that mean for us?" I finish. "What are we destined to if people can easily go from loving each other to hating each other?"

"We are not your parents," Ross says softly. "Just because your parents have problems doesn't mean you and I will. I love you so much babe, and I can't imagine a single thing that would ever make me feel any differently about you."

"But how can you be so sure?" I ask, desperately wanting to believe every word he's saying but am having a hard time in banishing my doubts.

"I just am. No one can ever know for sure, but I can still promise you that I will be here for you all the time. Through our ups and downs, through thick and thin. Some days I may love you a bit more than others, but you will always be my girl. The girl who holds the most special place in my heart."

"I thought I was all done crying," I smile, brushing away a happy tear that had fallen. "I love you, Ross."

His lips quickly find mine as we share the most passionate kiss I have ever had. "I could never dream of giving you up," I whisper against Ross's lips.

"Good," my boyfriend says, kissing me again. "Me either."