The Babysitter (Lauren/You)

Chapter 10: Can't Keep Up

[Your POV]

It's been one month. I feel so broken and fragile so I keep on drinking the pain away. The arguing with Lauren and Camila is nonstop, they're always telling me to put myself back together but they don't understand how I feel. My past is coming back to haunt me, my problems from before are taking over again. My depression, my anger, my suicidal thoughts are coming back, I thought I had fought them off but I guess they'll always be a part of me.

I walked into my room and grabbed my bottle of Percocet, I sat on the floor and tried to open the bottle but I couldn't. I angrily threw the bottle against the wall making all the pills fall out. I punched the wall making a sharp pain shoot through my arm.

"FUCK!" I screeched. I heard my door open so I turned around and saw Camila with Lauren, they were both looking at me with sadness visible in their eyes.

"Y/N you need to stop doing this. I can't do it anymore, you're my sister, it hurts me when you do this. I know you lost mom, dad and Sofia but you aren't the only one who lost them. I lost them too, I'm grieving too but you don't see me doing drugs and getting drunk, do you? Sometimes I think you don't want to get Sofi back because if you really did you wouldn't be doing this." Camila teared up and ran out of my room. I ran a hand through my hair and slid down the wall.

"Lauren get out of my room I already know what you're going to say." I waved her off but she didn't listen instead she sat down next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. I looked at her with a confused look on my face. Lauren leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.

"Y/N, you know that I love you right?" Lauren interwined our hands and leaned back on the wall. I gave her a small nod and kissed her cheek.

"I love you but I can't keep up with your emotions. You always end up taking them out on me or on your sister and I'm tired. I'm tired of it, I try to help you but you always push me away. It hurts to know that I can't help you. I need you to get back to yourself. I miss you so much." Lauren started crying and I pulled her close to me.

"What do you mean you miss me? Babe I'm right here." I planted a kiss on her forehead and she sighed.

I watched her closely as she pulled away from my embrace. She stood up and walked out of my room, I followed behind her making sure to stay close to her as possible. She opened the door and stepped outside into the pouring rain.

"I know you're here y/n but you're just not the same. You're different now, you're isolated and careless. You don't care about anyone's feelings anymore. I've tried so hard to understand why you're turning into this cold hearted monster but I guess we each have our way of handling things. But just to make sure you get it, drugs and alcohol aren't going to make you get any better, talking about it and showing your emotions more will help you. Not only will it help you but it'll help me understand you better. I love you and it hurts me to see you like this, I know that the constant arguing between us isn't helping you so I'm going to do what's best for the both of us. I'm leaving." Lauren took a step close to me and hugged me tightly. She pulled away and walked to her car, I was in shock but I managed to pull her by her wrist.

"Lauren please don't go! I'll get better I promise. I'll change just for you just please don't leave me." I cried out, she shook her head and tears started spilling down her face. I fell to my knees and I hugged her waist praying that she'd stay.

"Y/N I'm sorry. I'll come back, I promise just give me a call when you're better. Don't do this just for me, do it for Camila and Sofia. They're your only family now and they need you. Sofia is alone in a foster home waiting for you to get her back. Camila is watching you and she's trying to help you get back on your feet and I'm giving you space in order for you to start focusing on yourself. Stop pushing them away, you need each other the most right now. I love you y/n, take care of yourself." Lauren got in her car and I banged on her window. She drove away and I couldn't do anything to stop her.

"Lauren!" I yelled at the top of my lungs as she drove away from me. I tried running after her but she was moving to fast. Once she was out of sight I felt my heart break. I didn't want to believe that she actually left. I collapsed onto the floor and hugged my knees to my chest.

The weather matched my mood perfectly.