Jerk, Sophomore, Howell. (Dan Howell X Reader)

Ch. 17 - hoe dont do it- oh my god

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Knock knock knock.

You wake up to the sound of knocks at your front door. "Bloody hell," you whisper to yourself.

Getting up to open your bedroom door to leave, you find a note on it;
Had to leave for work early. Staying there for a while- long day. ~Love you
Just a parents note.

Getting to the front door as the knocks continue, you finally open it to see Dan with a large blanket over him and baggy eyes, almost stumbling onto the floor. He was leaning on the door.

"Dan? It's four in the morning," you whine.

He rubs his eyes. "Sorry," he apologized, voice raspy. "I tried to leave my house as soon as possible. My dad was yelling again."

You allow him in as you close and lock the front door. "Oh. He wasn't yelling at you, was he?"

"No. He was on the phone with his girlfriend," he starts to whimper slightly, looking down at the floor.

"Well, why don't you sit down and I could make you some tea, alright?"

"Thanks."

He's so messed up. We only got home around ten at night, he should have been sleeping.

"Why are you so tired, Dan? I took you home around ten, you should've had time to rest," you ask, taking out the utensils you need from the kitchen.

"I had to puke the rest of the night."

You sigh, "that's what happens when you drink vodka straight up."

"Psh. Tell me about it," he rolls his eyes.

His lips pressed against your neck.

I can't stop thinking of it.
I pushed him away.

"Dan," You call, walking, sitting on the floor in front of him.

"Hm?" He looks up, biting his lips.

"D-... do you remember what happened last night?"

He looks back down, shaking his head with a smile plastered onto his face. "Uhm.. Slightly," he laughs a bit. "I.. I thought it was a dream meant to be forgotten." You tilt your head, puzzled. "Um, yeah. Yeah I remember." He looks back up at you. "Look, I didn't mean to harm you if I did. You know, trying to make you stay and shit."

"It's fine," you mumble.

He looks up at you, eyes looking sorry.

His lips forcefully pressed yours.

Stop it.

You pull away, too surprised to kiss back like you wanted.

Stop.

As you're about to speak up, Daniel grabs the back of your head again, planting a deep kiss onto you. Okay, what's going on. You think to yourself, suddenly afraid. Kissing back, you kept your eyes open, watching Dan's closed ones. Maybe it'll be fine. You think to yourself as you slowly close your eyes, when suddenly something slimy enters your mouth, past your lips.

Okay, fuck that.

You open your eyes as you take your arms out and push Dan's chest, pulling away from him as you use your feet to push yourself away. His eyes suddenly open in surprise.

Okay, I know what's happening now.

"Y/N-... I'm sorry, I didn't mean—" You cut him off by bobbing your head towards him, kissing him deeply. Though, you hear multiple knocks at your door.

"We have company," Dan manages to say between pecks.

"Let them be." Though, to your surprise it was Phil, the man you allowed to a spare key. He opens the door with a surprised look across his face, seeing you two. You pull away and stand, going over to him.

"Phil," you try to keep him calm, but he can't hold it.

"Who's blanket is that," he asks calmly.

"Hey, buddy—"

"The fuck you doin', mate?" Phil charges for the brunette boy, but you hold him back.

"Look, Phil," you say, pushing your hand against his chest.

"Phil, it's fine!" Dan stands up trying to defend himself and you.

"Yeah, nothing happened, Phil, I promise," you say, clinging onto his arm. He slowly walks over to Dan, anger in his eyes.

"Did you fuck my best friend," he asked, quietly.

"Phil— really?" You tilt your head. Dan looks at him likes he's insane, which he is.

"Answer me!" Phil shoves Dan as he walks forward.
Dan looks at you and smirks, then looks back at Phil.

"Over and over again." You face palm at his lies. "And she moaned like a wildebeest."

You roll your eyes, "Phil, don't listen to this dickhead, and Dan, stop lying to him!" Phil glares at him as he shoves him against the wall.

"Phil! Stop," You yell, running towards him to prevent harm to someone. You grab his arm and detangle it from Dan's shirt.

"Phil, we did nothing," you swear.

He does a double take at Daniel and you, unsure to believe it. "You're sure?"

"I'm positive."

He lets go of Dan as he holds your arm, keeping you secure. As the kettle for the boiling water screeches, you move Phil off your arm and walk over to the kitchen to stop the fire. Though, you hear a yelp of pain from Dan. You turn your head quickly to see Phil standing in front of him and Dan crouching down, hovering over his crotch.

"Phil," you shout, rushing over to Dan, crouching next to him.

"What? Now it's for sure he won't be able to get in there, you know?"

You sigh, shaking your head, face palming.

A/N:
This whole chapter reminds me of that vine; it's just "hoe don't do it-- oh my god."

When you wanted to kiss Dan it's just "hoe don't do it." *kisses dan* "oh my god."

When you left Phil and Dan in the living room alone. "Hoe don't do it." *dan gets kicked in ze balls* "oh my god"

When Dan is outside your house. "Hoe don't do it." *allows him in* "oh my god"