Jerk, Sophomore, Howell. (Dan Howell X Reader)

Ch. 5 - Procrasination!

✓

"Hey!" Phil shouted, running after you. "You still want me to come over today, right?"

"Sure. If you want, I mean, my auditions are tomorrow so I need someone to lower my stress." You say, walking to the gym.

"Hey, it's alright. I'll be there. The auditions are after school or during?"

"After. You should totally wait for me. I'm gonna puke if you're not there." You sight, "what teacher do you have for P.E.?"

"Umm... Mrs. J. Mysterious last name," his eyes widen.

"Hm. I have Mr. Wilson," you sigh, walking over to that teachers side of the gym.

"See ya in a bit!" You yell across the gym as Philip gives off a salute.

After the gym teacher takes roll, he announces that actual work will be held for three days, due to so many kids.

So today was a "free play" day.

You walk straight to Phil and smile at him. "I guess this is how class is going to be. We separate to our teachers and find each other after the boring-ass lectures."

He laughs.

"What if all the same-subject teachers are enemies?"

"What?"

"Yeah, like, our P.E. teachers have battles during their meetings. Or preps."

You roll your eyes. "Really? So... what? They play Pokémon during the meetings?"

"Yeah! They can play cards and be like "your charmander is char-mine now.""

This is literally how you spend your time with Phil when you have the chance. You two just sit around talking about the stuff that comes out of Phil's mouth.

Once the bell rang, you go to your next class; study hall.

This is just a class where you can, really, do nothing.

Studying is what you're suppose to use that class for... but most people don't.

You sit in a desk in the far back of the room, hoping to be left alone in piece this period.

"Jesus Christ!" You hear from the entrance of the class. "What class do I not have you in?" He sits in the desk in front of you and turns around.
"I have Science next," he informs you.

"Well that's fantastic," you say, excitedly.

"What? Oh, don't tell me you have that class too," he does a face-palm.

"No. I have history," you smile.

"Well, that's great," he smiles back. "You know, if we do drama together, we get to cut this class and go straight to acting shit."

"Yeah, this class is boring as hell, I'm glad I can skip it for something I actually enjoy," you roll your eyes.

For that rest of the period, you two didn't talk. You just started scrolling through your phone. Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, etc. The usual. And after that bloody class, you walk on over to history.

With history being even more boring (siting in class talking to no one and saying sorry for siting in someone else's seat) than the last class, once the bell rang, you jumped out of your seat and ran straight for the front office, leading to the front of the school.

Inconveniently not hearing footsteps behind you, you feel a big blomp of weight onto your back. You groan in pain, or laziness, as Phil climbs off of you.

"Hey, snowflake," he greets you.

You giggle at his words and greet back. "What up, ninja."

"You ready to walk after a long day of a peasants work?" He asks, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"Mhm," You murmur.

-

"It's just that some people don't understand the struggles of a real human being," Philip explains. You shake your head.

"What is a human being, really? Some normal person who isn't crazy and has a successful future?" Your friend shrugs.

"It's just that, isn't a real person formed out from a monkey? Or an Ape? As of us, we just came from our mothers!"

"And you're saying that real humans are suppose to be formed from an ape."

"Yes," he nods. "That's why people can grab things with their toes."

"Okay, that's called evolution, and you sound insane. I don't think you're normal," you laugh, "can you?"

"I don't know, probably."

-

"Now act desperate. Like 'oh my, he is dead and here I am trying to live my life!'" Phil commands, trying to help you with your acting.

After the walk to your house, you two arrive and go straight to the help in your bedroom. You laugh at Phil's impression of a girl. Not being able to act it out, you put your arm on your forehead and start to do as told, but end up laughing at Phil.

"Y/N!" Phil whines. "I'm trying to help you."

"Not with that impression, you're not helping with shit!" You walk over to Phil and sit next to him. "I'm never going to get in this. I'm not serious and I'm going to lose the bet with Dan."

"No, you're going to do absolutely Great!" Phil insists. You take his hands and play with his fingers.

"You have finger legs. They're really thin and long," you say as you unclench his fingers from the fist it was in.

"Finger legs?" He laughs, "what are finger legs?"

"It's when you put out your index and your middle and you make it look like they're walking. So they end up to be Finger Legs," you explain the made up definition. "Mine are very flexible. Perfect for a parade."

"Mine can be the drummer!" Phil says excitedly.

"I hate to tell you this, Philip, but you have no arms."