Chasing Boundaries (Parallel Rhythms Series 1)

Chapter 22

I just stared at him as he continued to sing while playing the guitar. He opened his eyes and it caught mine. I gave him a small smile which he responded with a smile as well.

"Haplos ng 'yong halik, init ng 'yong pag-ibig ang dahilan ng palaging pananabik ko." His eyes that was on my eyes suddenly dropped to my lips. It was wanting, but he tried to hide it. I gulped as I pursed my lips.

His eyes went back to my eyes, and I couldn't even bring myself to look away. It was as if there was a connection forming between us, intangible, unimaginable, yet so strong and real.

"Tinatangi, tinatangi ko ikaw lamang, mahal. Tinatangi, hindi na maliligaw, 'pagkat ikaw lang ang tanaw sa araw-araw." After he finished singing the chorus, he started humming to fill up for the bridge.

His hums and "oohs" were like gentle whispers entering my ear. They were magical, whimsical even. And I can't believe I was hearing them for free.

"Oh, tinatangi, tina-tinatangi. Oh, tinatangi, tina-tinatangi. Oh, tinatangi, tina-tinatangi. Oh, tinatangi, tina-tinatangi." he sang repeatedly while his eyes stayed on mine.

I gave him a smile and it grew larger as he smiled back while singing.

"Alam ko sa sarili na ikaw lamang. Hinding-hindi itatanggi, oh." his voice shot up, turning more powerful and full.

After that, he went back to his softer demeanor. A small smile crept into his face before opening his mouth to sing in a much softer and gentler way.

"Tinatangi, tinatangi ko ikaw lamang." he held that slightly higher note for a slightly longer time. "Tinatangi, hindi na maliligaw, 'pagkat ikaw lang ang tanaw sa araw-araw, araw-araw."

He finally dropped his guitar but he was still singing. His voice was fading, and I couldn't help but to look at him seriously.

My eyes began to soften as he tried to reach for my hand. And when he finally reached them, he held it tight and firmly, like he had no plans of ever letting go of it, of me. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kamay kong hawak niya. My heart warmed as he squeezed it gently. Nang bumaling ang tingin ko sa kaniya ay sinalubong naman ako ng mapungay niyang mga mata.

He was looking at me softly, but sparks were evident in his eye. He smiled, and so did his eyes.

"Oh, ikaw, ikaw, ikaw, ikaw." he sang with his husky yet mellow voice. His eyes remained on me.

I never knew that love could be this heart-warming. I never knew that his love could be so warm. My emotions were all over the place, not because I was upset or anything, but because I don't know if I'm worthy enough to accept his warmth.

"Harley..." he trailed, making me look at him. "I... I think I'm down bad." his deep, husky voice lingered in my ears. "Thank you for teaching me how to love." he then smiled.

I just stared at him, lost for words.

It wasn't him who was down bad, it was me. It wasn't me who taught him how to love, it was him who taught me. Or maybe we were on the same page. We helped each other feel the things we never knew we would ever feel. We taught each other how to love.

And maybe this is it. I think I'm actually starting to realize that what I feel towards him wasn't just a mere crush or just a mere like. It was not between the spectrum of like and love anymore, it was already way past that.

But how should I accept this feeling? How should I accept this warmth? His warmth? Am I even ready? Are we ready?

Because I think I might not be able to stop anymore. I won't stop. Maybe it's time for me to follow what my heart wants. And my heart wants him. I want him.

"I'm falling harder, faster,... deeper." Archein spoke, his sensuality giving me goosebumps. "And you're the only one that could save me."

He smiled as he moved closer to me. I was just there, stuck at my place, processing everything he said.

"I'm not rushing you, Harley. In fact, I'm willing to wait for how long it takes." he looked directly at me. "I'm just saying this to let you know, Harley. You are my muse, and always will be."

He inched closer, and the next thing I knew, he already planted a kiss on my forehead. I looked up at him, heartbeat tripling as I listened to his words.

His muse.

I shut my eyes to stop my tears from falling. His love was always overflowing, yet it was never suffocating. It never suffocated me. And sometimes, I just wonder if I can give him the same amount of love he gives me. I can never even be enough for myself, how could I be enough for him.

Do I even deserve his love?

"And you deserve to be loved like how you deserve the world." he stated.

Before I knew it, my tears started falling unnaturally. I never planned to cry, but his words were enough to make me realize my worth. To make me realize the things that I deserve.

That's right, I'm also a human being. A human being who feels, who enjoys, and who hurts. A human being who doubts herself. But that doubt was erased because of him.

His mere words were enough to kill the doubt I've had for myself for God knows how long.

I've always believed that I don't deserve anything. That everything was given to me by chance. And I have to protect those things, because it might not come back once I lose it.

But with him, I realized that I shouldn't even be weary and wary when I receive things I didn't think I deserved. Yes, I have to protect the things that I receive. But it doesn't feel like it'll leave a huge toll on me anymore. It doesn't feel like it's going anywhere. It doesn't feel like it'll leave me once I finally come to embrace it.

It doesn't feel like he'll even leave me.

"I love you, my tinatangi. You are more than enough for me."

I felt his hand wiping away the tears that slid down my face unknowingly. There were already a lot, yet I didn't have the chance to even wipe them all off. I was just there, unable to move as realization dawned on me.

"So please, stop doubting yourself." I blinked as I heard him say those words. I faced him and he gave me a reassuring smile. "I can see in your eyes how you think you don't deserve the things I give you." he smiled bitterly. "You're confused. You hesitate. You refuse."

How could this man know so much? How could this man read me like I'm an open book? How could this man know where to hit the spot? How could this man be so real?

"But that doesn't have to be the case, Harley." his smile brightened, like he was telling me that everything will be fine. "You don't need to hesitate. You don't need to refuse everything that's given to you. Because you deserve them, Harley. And as I've said, you deserve the whole world."

I just found myself crying harder as I listened to him. I couldn't even speak. I just listened. And maybe that's all I need to do. To listen. To realize.

"You deserve all the love you can get." he gently spoke before hugging me. The next thing I knew, I was already caged in his arms as I let my tears cascade.

His warmth didn't just bring comfort. It brought me reassurance as well. It gave me the realization that I didn't have to carry all of this alone.

And in this misty field, he was with me, guiding me along the way. But this time, it seems like it wasn't the case anymore. Because he didn't just light up a path for me. He lit up the whole field. Making me see life a little more differently.

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