Chasing Boundaries (Parallel Rhythms Series 1)

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As if the world wasn't cruel enough, another bomb just dropped on me. And it caused such a fatality.

A toy. That's what I was to him.

Tama nga ako. He's just toying with me after all. 'Cause how could he push me away that easily, huh? How could he cut me off without any hesitation? How could he leave me there, brokenhearted, without even looking back.

Masakit rin pala. Tangina, masakit talaga. Hindi naman ako iiyak-iyak sa kama ko ngayon kung 'di naman masakit eh. But it already came from him, he pushed me away.

Ayaw niya na akong makita.

And who am I to argue with his decision? Isa lang naman akong hamak na babae na nagkagusto sa kaniya, inisip na baka mayroong tiyansa, espesyal ako; 'yon ang pinaramdam niya, nasaktan, at ngayon, umiiyak. Umiiyak dahil tuluyan nang nawasak ang katiting na pag-asang unti-unti kong binuo.

I never dared to follow him. Why? Because while he was walking away from me, he never dared to look back.

Na parang wala lang sa kan'ya 'yong mga araw na magkasama kami, nagtatawanan kami, kino-comfort niya ako. Na parang wala lang ako sa kan'ya. I guess I was really just a toy for him.

I know we've only known each other for two weeks, but can you blame me for falling for his tricks? He's sweet, he's caring, he have his way with his words. Kahit nakakasakit siya, hindi pa rin nawala ang pagkakagusto ko sa kaniya. Kahit parang laruan kong ituring niya ako, hindi pa rin nawala ang pag-asang, baka mayroon talagang tiyansa.

But everything faded away. The hope, the trust, the butterflies. With his words earlier, all of them faded.

But what I feel towards him?

Should I also feel frustrated to myself because I can't help but still like him? Because the feeling I have for him is still lingering? Why the fuck does this feeling still lingers, when all he did to me was... hurt me?

Tanga ba ako?

Bakit... Bakit pagkatapos ng lahat... may nararamdaman pa rin ako sa kaniya?

I thought it was just a mere crush. I thought it was just a simple attraction. I thought I just liked him. But no. It was more than that. It was more than what I could name right now. It's not love, for sure. But it lies between like and love.

Pero bakit... bakit kahit nasasaktan na ako, hindi pa rin nawawala 'tong nararamdaman ko sa kaniya? Am I just... confused?

It took me an hour or two of overthinking before I finally ran out of tears and decided to sleep out of exhaustion.

"Are you okay?" dama ko ang pag-aalala sa tanong na iyon ni Brent.

Nilingon ko siya at bahagyang ngumiti. Ngumiti ako ng tipid bago ako tumango sa kaniya. He handed me a bottle of water and I hesitantly took it from him.

Narito kami ngayon sa loob ng gym dahil may training kami ngayon sa volleyball. Nag-announce ang school na magkakaroon daw ng off-season tournament para sa volleyball. Numerous schools will be a part of the tournament, and of course, kasali kami roon.

We needed to train hard as our school only got the bronze medal from the last off-season tournament. That was a big blow for our school because we were the reigning champion before that. Kaya ngayon ay extra ang training namin para masungkit naming muli ang gold.

"Hindi kayo nagkakaayos?"

Marahan akong suminghap nang matapos akong uminom mula sa plastic bottle. Mahina akong napakurap-kurap habang nakayuko bago ko muling hinarap si Brent. Tipid akong ngumiti sa kaniya bago tuluyang umiling.