In The End (On Hold)

f i v e

a/n

•i'm not particularly fond of this chapter, it sucks really
   •i start school today. wish me luck, I'm now a freshman, I just wanted to publish before I get to school.
•unedited
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f i v e

December 20, 2014

'I should stop now, I'm getting dizzy.'

White was going to back to being the dreadful color. I was going crazy! So, in desperate need of some amusement, I started walking around the room (my remedy for boredom). It was working for five minutes—got me thinking with the occasional laugh at a memory—before I contracted the feeling of wooziness.

I halted, making sure to put my hands behind me on the counter of the sink in my room.

"Mason!" I heard the familiar small voice behind me. I turned to see Tommy, his arms outstretched and his tiny form running in my direction. I bent down to receive his hug, giving him a squeeze of my own before lifting him up so I wouldn't have to bend my knees longer than I was supposed to—but of course, even carrying my thirty-seven-pound brother was making my arms a little shaky. I sat Tommy on my bed, and looked toward the entrance Mom stood by, smiling, staring. She must have seen the endeavor it was for me to carry Tommy. I turned back to Tommy, not wanting to see Mom when she was being like this. I sometimes caught her staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking. Tears would settle and the stare would grow into this far away look so she wasn't staring at me anymore, but through me. For a whole month after we were told of my condition, she cried herself to sleep. She wasn't the only one affected by the news, though. Dad had started drinking, working late nights. Mom and Dad fought over little things. And the then-two-year-old Tommy—even though he had no idea what was going on, much less what leukemia was  had even cried one morning at breakfast, like a brick had hit him that this was going to do a number on us.

Mom must have snapped out of whatever she was thinking, for she said, "Can he stay here for a bit? He's been asking since we left yesterday if he could see you." She still wasn't looking at me. "I just have some things to take care of around the house. I'll be back to pick him up in a while." She sniffled and stepped forward to place a bag and a phone on top of the plastic chair by my bed. "It's your laptop, just in case you two want to watch movies."

I nodded, swallowing the forming lump in my throat because she couldn't even look at me. "Okay," was all I was able to say. I know it was probably killing her inside to look at me and know that one day—a day not too long from now—that I wouldn't be there. And then it wasn't going to be us, it was going be them: Mom, Dad, and Tommy.

My chest constricted as the thought passed through my mind. Before Mom left, she came up and gave Tommy a kiss on the cheek and a hug, which he made a face at and recoiled. She smiled in amusement at him before coming up and doing the same to me, hugging me a little longer. At least she hugged me.

I turned to Tommy to get my thoughts away from Mom. "Have you eaten?" I asked, ruffling up Tommy's black hair. It didn't come as a surprise to most people that we were related; we both had black hair. Tommy's and my eyes were blue. We resembled the stereotypical ghost that looked like it had a sheet thrown over itself. Not to forget we shared the same long eyelashes and the prominent freckles that littered our noses and cheeks.

Tommy looked up at me - swatting my hand away from his locks in the process—and shook his head no. "I had just woken up when Mom told me I was finally going to see you."