A Cheaters Nightmare: A Dilmer Fanfic

Labor

A week passes. Its the beginning of July and Julian is going to come any day now. The more time that passes, the more nervous I get. I completely finished putting everything away from the baby shower and am completely ready for when he does decide to come. I have a bag packed with everything I need. A change of clothes for me along with my phone charger. Also the very first outfit were gonna put Julian in to come home. Since were in California its always hot here but with it being July, it's the hottest time of the year. Its a little Jumper Outfit that we had personally made. On the front it has his initials J and J in green letters and then a W going through it in brown letters. On the back it has the phrase "Just Born, Already So Loved" on it in red. It's one of my favorite outfits for him. Along with that are socks for his feet, one of the many baby blankets we have for him, some diapers, and a bottle. They are going to teach me how to breast feed there but if by some chance he's not all for that or it's just too uncomfortable for me then they will have me pump and drink out of a bottle. It's all up to what Julian wants.

I haven't really talked to anyone for the past couple days. Marissa went home to Texas for the next week because of her work. She is calling me everyday to make sure that I haven't gone into labor because she wants to be here when he's born... I don't know if he's gonna wait that long though. I've been having contractions now for the past two days. I mistook them for braxton hicks at first but they just got worse and closer together. I called my doctor yesterday wondering if I should come in or not but he said not to worry since my due date hasn't come yet and that i'm just in, what they call, a pre-labor. He did say though that if it gets worse or obviously if my water breaks to come in. I'm not too worried about it just yet cause their not unbearable and i'm trying to keep him in as long as possible, at least until Marissa is back in a few days.

My sisters have been checking in on me every other day. They know that i'm already having contractions and keep asking me if I wanted them to stay but I turned it down. I don't do much anyway except for be on my laptop emailing a bunch of emails to my team and actually to acting agents. Once I lose the baby weight I am thinking about getting into acting. Not sure for what yet whether it be comedy, romance... Ooo maybe horror... I always wanted to be in a horror movie! If i'm not constantly worried about work i'm either reading about first time mothers, watching tv,eating or sleeping. I don't even take poor buddy out for a walk anymore but once Julian is born, Buddy's gonna have to do way more than walking. I'm hoping to lose all the baby weight within six weeks of having him so its gonna be some intense training. My trainer has already set up a routine for me. I do something new everyday. Doing that and balancing my diet should get me to my goal weight within the six weeks.

As for Wilmer... He hasn't called or texted me since he left that day and actually i'm thankful. I think space is what we need. Obviously I want him there when Julian is born... No matter how much of a dick he is, he is still Julian's dad and I know he didn't mean what he said. I know Wilmer already loves Julian probably just as much as I do. I do like to think I have a little more advantage since I am the one who has carried him for nine months... Even though I wasn't even aware I was pregnant for the first... well almost four months I guess it was.

I still think back to that day when I sat in the clinic, wearing that gown and the doctor comes in with his gloves and tray of tools. I also remember the feeling when my mom came in and talked me out of it, the feeling when I first found out it was Wilmer's and not Ryan's, when I first found out it was a boy that same day. With those memories bring back bad ones too. The fear I had of telling Wilmer I was pregnant and didn't know who the father was, or when he found out it was his but was disappointed by it. I have all these thoughts running through my head, good and bad. There's nothing I can do about it except embrace them. Embrace the mixed feelings I get from them because without them, I wouldn't be in this euphoric state that I am in now, just days away from holding my son in my arms for the first time...