Till next time

Part 11

I stumbled through the apartment door giggling clinging to Violet's sweaty hand.

"Vi why are your hands so clammy?"

"It's so dam hot in your apartment thats why!"

We both started to laugh and as I switched the lights on we galloped towards my bedroom and jumped on it. There was a moment of serenity where I could hear the buzzing in my head from the alcohol and my breathing began to settle. I lazily rolled over to face Violet face on who had her eyes closed. 

"Vi how drunk are you?"

"Really not that drunk anymore, I sobered up on the way back I'm just super super jet lagged."

"Right, I'll get us some water then we can go to bed. We are meeting Amelia for brunch tomorrow so we have to be on good form."

I heard a mumble from the other room. I stole a glance at the cookers time 5:18am fuckkkk. 

I grabbed the glasses from the cupboard and filled them up with chilled water from the tap. I wondered back into my room to see Violet tucked up under the covers so I placed the glass next to her and kissed her head. I wondered over to the window and looked out. It was still dark and the windows hazed up with my gentle breathe against it. My head immediately switched back to James and I could feel my anger burning inside me and I swallowed hard. I went back to the living room as I couldn't sleep. I fished for my phone in my hand bag and plugged it in to a charger. It died about 2 hours into the after party. Suddenly the phone started pinging so I quickly silenced it. I hesitated to unlock it. 42 missed calls from James and 32 texts. Shit!  I opened the chat from James and saw his last message. 

'CECILY I'VE BEEN AT YOUR APARTMENT FOR 2 HOURS WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU. I can't do anything more. I'm sorry..'

I scrolled up to the top of the chat and saw these long essays of apologies and how much he appreciated me and how sorry he was and they got shorter and blunter and then eventually they stopped. At 3:47am he stopped. He gave up. I felt my stomach churning and tears built up in my eyes.  I dropped my phone and wiped the few tears that escaped my eyes and stumbled into bed. I cozied up to Violet and drifted into a deep sleep. 

I glanced at the clock and it was 7:15am. I couldn't sleep any more. I turned my head to see Violet fast asleep with her mouth open and make up wiped down her face and on the pillow. I wondered into the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my hair. I grabbed some sweats and some headphones and headed for the door. I plugged in the headphones as I opened the front door and the bitter chill of the winter breeze hit me like a truck. 'Our own house' came on and I began to jog down the pavement in the dark winter morning. I headed towards the city center and didn't stop. My mind was racing with so much and I couldn't do anything but run faster and faster. I ran all the way to the art studio and checked the time on my phone it was 9:17am. Woah how did I run all the way here?  I unlocked the door and walked in. The room had a bitter chill and there was the stale scent of the food from last night. It was so quiet and still that my mind settled. I wondered around the room looking at each sculpture and studying them before they were to be sent off to the various bidders. There was a faint tap on the glass door and I turned round to see James biting his lip with a furrowed brow. He looked like he had been crying, his hurts were tired looking, he looked so vulnerable. I stared at him and began to bite the inside of my cheek as I felt myself welling up again. All I do is cry when I'm with him. He can make me so happy but he can make me so sad.. How has he got this hold over me?  I shuffled over to the door and unlocked it before swiftly turning my back and walking away. 

"Hey."

His voice was low and husky. I turned to look at him and a single tear fell down my cheek. I wiped it of quickly before anymore joined it.