The next few weeks pass away slowly. I spend a lot of time to myself in the training room, either beating the life out of a dummy, shooting a target until it's barely holding itself together, or running the agility course. David and Jo stop in occasionally to talk to me and bring me something to eat, which ends up in the disposer. Cinda and Alec come with them sometimes. I've convinced everyone that I'm more driven than ever since my father died. They don't know that training is just a way of distracting myself from how numb I feel. I hardly cry anymore. I'm just numb.
But, of course, it's better to pretend than to admit how empty I am.
David comes in just as I throw a knife at a target on the wall.
"Nice shot, " he says. I turn around and smile at him.
"Thanks," I say.
"I brought you some lunch, " he holds up a container with a sandwich inside.
"Just set it down over there. I'll eat later," I point to a small platform in the corner of the room. I push a few strands loose hair from my face and throw another knife.
"Ron, what's this?" he asks. I turn around and see him holding a container. My heart drops. That container was from a few days ago. I plaster a smile across my face.
"Oh, that's just a container that I probably forgot to recycle. Here, I'll take it over right now, " I reach for the container, but he moves it out of my reach.
"This container is full. You didn't eat anything. What's going on?"
"I was probably just busy, and forgot to eat," I try to snatch the container away from him, but he keeps it away from me easily.
"When was the last time you ate something?"
"Yesterday," I lied.
"Then why won't you look at me for longer than two seconds?"
I shifted my feet, still refusing to meet his eyes.
"Ron, how long has this been going on?" he asks. I stay quiet. He turns away from me, running his hands through his hair. "I should have known. I should have payed attention. I've been bringing you meals for weeks, and I've never once seen you eat them. God, why am I so stupid?!?!"
"David, stop," I say quietly. It scares me to see him like this.
He whirls around to look at me, his hands still in his hair. "You haven't eaten a full meal for weeks! And I never once checked to make sure you were okay!"
"It's just a few meals, David."
"It's more than that! I thought you were doing better. I thought that you were handling your grief. Now I know that you're not, and... " his voice trails away, but the pain in his eyes says everything.
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
"I'm not leaving until I see you eat something. Come here," he picks up the sandwich and hands it to me. "Eat. Please."
"David.... " I say, sighing. " I'm fine."
"Please." he pleads with his eyes, and the edge of panic in his voice convinces me. I take a careful bite out of the sandwich. He smiles faintly. "Good. Thank you. Now, come on. We're going to go somewhere safe, and you're going to talk to me, please. Bring that sandwich."
I nod, taking another small bite out of the sandwich. We walk through the hallway to his room. He shuts the door quietly, then sits down on his bed. He motions for me to join him. I hesitate for a moment, then I sit down next to him. We sit quietly, but this isn't like the normal silences between us. This one is charged with tension. It's uncomfortable, like an old blanket that has lost its softness.
Finally, David speaks.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't feel like I could. I needed something to relieve the pain without causing anyone else any pain. So I kept it a secret," I explain, staring at the floor. The sandwich lays in my lap, still half uneaten. "It doesn't seem like a big deal to me."
"Well, it is. And it's not just that you're missing meals. It's that I didn't do anything to help you after your dad... " David says, looking down.
"David, you did all that I let you. I'm the one who blocked everyone and everything out. None of this is your fault."
He stays quiet for a long time. "I'm going to keep my eye on you. I need to know that you're okay."
"I know."
He nods, like he can finally find peace with this situation. We stay quiet for a time, and this silence is better. It's almost comforting, just having his presence here, but no words to distract my thoughts.
I rested my head on his shoulder, and I tried to make myself believe that everything was going to be okay.
******************
David is a cutie patootie aw
Sorry if I offended anyone by swearing :/
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Ruby
Teen Fictionin a futuristic world, sixteen-year-old Veronica has been abducted, had her memory of her old life taken from her, and she's been tortured, all by an evil group with rubies for pupils. when she manages to escape, she must learn who she is and what s...
