✔︎ | Part of Me (Trilogy)

30 | this ends here, tonight

He chuckles. "Yeah, like Marie-Laure, mom."

Marie-Laure LeBlanc. From All The Light We Cannot See. My stolen book.

Mrs. White sits up and turns to Jem and I and holds out her arms. Jem squirms in mine and I let her down, gazing at Axel, who refuses to meet his eyes with mine. Jem runs to her mom and takes her hand, and together, they shuffle out of the kitchen, like two, very brave, little women. Axel follows them, and when he sees that they're safely in his car, he rummages through something in the next rooms, and walks back into the kitchen with two duffel bags his arms.

He looks at me. "Please leave."

My heart pounds. I'm on the verge of tears. My body won't move.

"Go!" He begs.

My body shakes. "Did I cause this?"

He glances to the floor, sighing. "Why are you here?"

"You ordered pizza," I weep. "Jem said I could come in and..."

"You should have just left everything the fuck alone," he mutters. "They're usually fine, and quiet, together. They don't bother him. Please, just go already."

I don't want to leave him. I want to make sure he's okay, that Jem's okay, that she's not hurt from her fall. I want to know what they'll do, because Axel's face isn't sure, and although I don't want to care, I care about him more than I ever have in this moment.

"Can I do anything?"

"Aviana, just get out!" he yells, and it hits me like a train. Before I know what I'm doing, I'm rushing past him, my legs almost crumbling beneath me, and I don't stop shaking until I'm in the delivery car, dropping it off at Dominos, racing home, locking the door behind me and sliding down to the ground against it in tears.

・・・

I should text Will.

No. I should text Mom.

I ask Shiray for Axel's number instead, and she replies right away, no questions asked.

I sit on the rug by the front door, having been here for almost 2 hours, thinking, evaluating the situation, crying, closing my eyes and just breathing. It's already past nine, and the party still doesn't start for at least another hour.

I take a deep breath and message the number Shiray gave me.

Please let me do something. Is Jem okay?

I give up after a few minutes and tell the girls I'm coming to their before party to get wasted.

The first thing Shiray asks is "why'd you want Axel's number?"

The girls stop drinking and frown, gazing at me in curiosity. We're in Helen's living room, and it's pitch black outside, only the fancy lamp illuminating our faces and beverages.

"Oh, I couldn't get a hold of my brother or my parents. I thought he might know something," I shrug, taking a swig out of a bottle, the foreign liquid burning my throat. "They went to LA," I breathe, "I just wondered how they were doing. No answers though. Phones must have died." I wish I was better at lying because the girls don't seem too convinced.

"You sure you guys aren't a thing?" Court mumbles, a little smile playing on her lips. "I can see you two together. No offence to Tanner. Axel just, looks at you a certain way, and you seem so distracted when he's around or when we're talking about him." I snort, and she exclaims, "see! There it is."

I groan. "I'm with Tanner. I'm not into Axel. I hardly know him."

"Ah, well," Tasha takes a shot, "I'm team Axel."

I laugh. "Aren't you guys trying to sleep with him?"

Helen shakes her head, gulping down something strong. "Nah," she chokes, "we've got new boys. I meet a cute Scottish dude in his Sophomore year in Uni. We had sex on our first date and I'm hooked."

"TMI," Shiray scrunches her nose, snuggling into the couch.

"And you?" I ask Tasha, surprised she hasn't told me anything.

She rests her head on my shoulder. "You know Colton? The dude who got us into the first party?" She asks me. "He's my new bae. I kind of actually love him. Well, the idea of him. I think I could love him. He's actually really sweet. Axel's all yours, babe. Him and I, Helen and him, just isn't the right thing, you know? But you," she pinches my cheek, and I try not to blush, "you could drive that boy crazy."

I pretend to cringe, but the idea doesn't bother me at all. It excites me. It makes my stomach hurt, but I love it, I love feeling the way that I did when I straddled him and placed a kiss on his warm, wet lips.

It's just the alcohol talking. I like Tanner too much to give him up for some stupid, tipsy fantasy.

"No," I shake my head laughing, "Axel's not my type."