Memories of Jack & Eliza (BWWM)

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Jack

                    Eliza took me to my first therapy session today. I got up early, like a kid on the first day of school. But I wasn't excited for this. This therapist was mostly likely gonna pick at my head. Make me relive each and every memory. I don't want to. "Take your time, I am fine right here," I wore sweat pants and a white t-shirt. I cover my head with my hoodie and wait for her to get up. "I have to shower, and we can go. My shift starts at 9:30." I waited for the clock to turn to 8:30. Eliza got out before it and had some minutes to spare. "I wanted you to take forever, so I can be late." I went into the bedroom to find her wrapped in a towel. "I'll be out in a little, Jack hold on." I watch as she takes off her towel and changes her clothes. I felt the want to go over to her and kiss her skin. And I didn't see a reason why not to, except the feeling that I got in my chest.

            My stomached dropped and I don't know if it was because of my nervousness for the session or her being half naked in front of me. "I said I'll be out in a minute," I closed the door and go back to the living room to sit down. My thoughts raced from one subject to another: Eliza's body and the therapy session. I go to the kitchen to grab something to snack on. "I'm sorry if we have no food. I haven't gone shopping in ages," I grab an apple that we had on the table and bit into it. "It's fine," She wore her work shirt and some black pants. I kiss her cheek and she holds my hand.

            "Do you need me to go with you? I can have Devin fill in for me and I can sit with you. I can hold your hand, and I could kiss your cheek and I can be there. Do you want that?" I nodded my head. I do. I want her there with me, so when the doctor fucks me over, she can tell him to stop. But I know that I have to deal with it myself. "No I should go alone. The building is near the hospital. Drop me off there and see Debra. I want some pie. We have nothing here," I got outside and ride the elevator down to the first floor. She locks up the apartment and comes down after me. "Do you want the windows down?" I shake my head no

***

              I stand outside of the building waiting for the doors to open. "Are you Jack Ellis?" A British man called to me. Where did all these British people come from? "Yes, I am." I say. His accent was very thick and I wanted nothing more than to have one myself. "Your appointment doesn't start until 10:00," I am an hour early. Shit. "Can I wait inside?" I ask because I drunk a whole bunch of water before I came here, and I need to piss. "Yes, but stay in the waiting room. There is supposed to be an appointment in a few minutes." It was supposed to be my appointment. He opened the door and I hurried inside. The bathroom I found was really nice. It was a therapist's office so it was small but it was really nice. "Come in Ms. Fanks" What a funky name? "Do I need to bring some tissue?" The therapist coos the women inside the room. "No, I think I'll be okay." She sniffles. She hasn't been here for about 5 minutes and she was already crying. Damn, I guess this place does change people.

             I sit in the chair waiting for the woman to come out crying. I read a couple magazines about the Kardashians. They do crazy shit. I put away the magazine and stare at the ceiling. What could I tell this therapist? I don't remember anything. "You can come in now, Mr. Ellis." The other lady walked out with a dry face. Good for her. "You have a nice day, Ms. Fanks." She nodded her head and headed out the door. I walk into the room and look around. There is a huge window and it shows a garden. The flowers in the garden were the colors of the rainbow. "Why is this suddenly calming?" The British man laughs and smiles wildly. "This is a calming environment." I didn't agree. I just sat down. He had a big black couch with grey pillows and a red blanket draped across the sides.

              "Can I take this off?" The therapist nods his head no. "This may be a 'calming' room, but not a very comfortable one." I say. I lay down on the couch and snuggle a pillow. "Hello Mr. Ellis, I am Dr. Lund And this is the start of your first therapy session. Please believe that everything you say here is private and will be kept private. Your privacy is my loyalty. Don't be afraid to indulge in your past, present, and future, with me, because this is an open place. Here in this room is an open place. And once the time is gone and this room is no longer an open place, however please believe that every room could be an open place, if you allow it to be. Now before we start, I want you to give over your consent to me." He said this was an open place, but maybe not a safe one.