Chasing Boundaries (Parallel Rhythms Series 1)

Chapter 11

LFL🧣 @chaille_ldr
im starting to hate you :'(

Although it wasn't true, I am actually getting pissed at him. Not enough to hate him though. Gusto ko lang talagang ilabas ang sama ng loob na nararamdaman ko ngayon. And also... to calm myself down. Because aside from frustration, I also feel a bit sad.

Loving him was blue @zapforbillie
Replying to @chaille_ldr
onis to bibi? name drop, upakan natin O⁠_⁠o

Kahit may sama ng loob ay hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti sa reply na iyon ni Sid. But what caught my attention was another reply from a rather familiar username.

:( @lifeisanarcane_
Replying to @chaille_ldr
Are you mad? I wish I can treat you ice cream rn,

Ang unang nagpakunot ng aking noo ay nang makita ko ang name niya. The only interaction we've made in this app was when we both defended Billie Eilish from a hater. But I could still vividly remember his name. Hindi iyon sad face, it was a smiling face back then.

Pero bakit nag-iba na? Bakit naging sad face na? Is the user of the account sad, too?

Umiling ako at hindi na iyon pinansin. Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang reply niya. My forehead creased again as I read it.

How does this user know that ice cream is my comfort food? Bakit niya nasabi ang ice cream sa reply niya? Or was it just a coincidence? Baka nag-o-overthink lang ako. Nonetheless, I still liked his reply but didn't wrote back a reply for him.

Bakit? Kilala niya ba ako sa in real life para i-treat niya ako ng ice cream? I just shrugged everything off as I closed my phone. Humiga ako sa kama habang naririnig ko pa rin ang pagkanta ni Billie mula sa cellphone ko.

If "I love you" was a promise, would you break it if you're honest.

My head creased as I heard the lyrics. I don't relate to the whole song but that one line probably hits hard. Why? Hindi ko rin alam. And I'm thinking of him again. Tsk.

He probably won't say "I love you" to me, right? I mean, by the looks of it, he's probably not even serious with me. Pinaglalaruan niya lang ako. At wala akong kasalanan dahil 'yon ang ipinaparamdam niya sa akin. With his gestures and his laughter, he's making me feel like I am only a toy to him.

But what if he finds out about everything? Paano kung malaman niya na ganito ang nararamdaman ko dahil sa mga ginagawa niya? Would he actually regret his actions, or will he only feel sorry with no deeper reason?

Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before.

Will he only tell me "I love you" just because he's sorry, and he know that those three words were the words that I really needed to hear at the moment?

Or what if I'm just overthinking everything? What if... hindi niya ako pinaglalaruan, sadyang mapaglaro lang talaga siya? What if... he's genuine with his words, and he only laughs afterwards because he doesn't want it to sound genuine.

That's impossible, right?

Well, I can see that he's genuine when it comes to comforting me. Maybe it's really not that impossible after all. Or maybe... I should just stop overthinking.

True to my words yesterday with Brent, wala talaga akong balak na pansinin si Archein ngayon. Or kahit forever! I know I'm petty, but I just need some peace of mind.

Kung papansinin niya ako, edi okay. But I won't interact with him until he say sorry. But for what exactly? Tsk. Basta, kunwari ay nagtatampo ako, at kung hindi niya ako suyuin, edi 'wag!

I'll just use this opportunity to know if he's really just toying with me. Kung suyuin niya ako, well, that means may pakialam siya sa akin. But if not, it's better if we keep away from each other from then. Mapapatunayan kong hindi naman talaga ako importante para sa kan'ya at pinaglalaruan niya lang talaga ako.