Violet Eyes

Chapter 33

I spent the rest of the day curled up in a ball in the furthest corner of my bed, propped up against the wall and my pillows. I didn't speak, I didn't move my gaze from my knees, I didn't even think. I just sat there, completely numb and dead to the world. 

It wasn't until the sun had gone down and Katsuki and Eijirou were fast asleep in Hitoshi's bed, that I finally said something. It was just Hitoshi and I awake, the lamp on my bedside table emitting a soft glow around the room. 

"How long was I gone?" I asked, my voice cracking from hours of not using it. 

Hearing me speak didn't seem to surprise him too much, because he answered rather quickly. "A day and a half, roughly." 

"That's not long," I pointed out, my brows knitting together in confusion. There was no way it had been that little time, right? "Why is it so much worse this time then?" 

I heard him sigh and shift in his spot on the bed beside me. "I don't know, Iz." 

"You wanna know what he said to me, right?" I asked, actually catching him by surprise this time. The whole room seemed to still. "What sent me spiraling again?" 

"Not if you're not ready to talk about it." 

I hummed, not expecting the response. I thought he had been chomping at the bit to figure it out, but I had been wrong. I always seemed to be wrong. 

"Try to get some sleep, love," he said in a whisper that I just barely heard. 

"I won't be able to." 

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When the sun finally came up, I hadn't moved, still pressed against the wall with my knees to my chest. I couldn't feel my legs, but I couldn't feel anything anymore. It didn't matter. 

"You have to eat," Eijirou urged for the millionth time. There was a plate of pancakes next to him on the bed, I was pretty sure Katsuki had made them. I didn't care. 

"I'm not hungry." 

"Please, darlin'," he pleaded, concern weaving itself into his voice as he got more and more desperate for me to function like a normal human being. 

"Fuck this," I heard Katsuki grumble under his breath. Then the bed shook and he was in front of me, grabbing my chin and forcing my head to move for the first time in hours. There was a twinge of pain, but I ignored it. "You either eat or I force feed you. Take your pick." 

I tried to pull my face from his grip, but he wouldn't let go. "I'm not hungry, Kacchan." 

"Since fucking when?" the blond asked, a scowl on his face as his eyes roamed over my figure. "Ei used to sneak you pop tarts while I was cooking because you couldn't fucking wait twenty minutes. Then you still ate dinner after." 

Eijirou released a small gasp. "How long have you known about that?" 

"The whole fucking time! You're shit at hiding things from me," Katsuki said with an eye roll before his attention was back to me. "The easy way or the hard way, Deku? Up to you." 

"Don't call me that," I said suddenly, catching them both off guard. The nickname had been a lighthearted tease for our entire relationship, but now every time I heard it, the word useless rang through my head. 

Katsuki studied me carefully, finally releasing my chin from his hold. "I'll stop if you eat a goddamn pancake." 

I scowled at the plate he pushed towards me, the first time I'd expressed an emotion since they'd flushed my coke the previous day. "Fine, fucking dickwad," I grumbled, grabbing the food and shoving it into my mouth out of pure spite.