xxxiii. eight page long letter (Pt. 2)

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"JULES, YOU HAVE MAIL!" JULIET heard her sister yell as she stepped in the house, coming home from another boring hang out with her new boyfriend. Why did she say yes when he asked anyway? She really doesn't like him, he doesn't even like Batman. Little shit. She dragged herself to the kitchen, placing her tote on the counter, "Do I need to open it right now? I want a nap, hanging out with Dylan makes me wanna— I'm not gonna finish that sentence. It'll make me sound like a terrible girlfriend; It overstimulates me! There!"

      Ophelia shook her head at her sister, laughing, "You need to open it. It's really important, promise." She shoved the letter in her sister's hand, the address facing down. Juliet went to turn it over, "NO! Don't do that!" Juliet jumped at her sister's sudden outburst, "What the fuck? Why not?" Ophelia put on an awkward smile, "You just can't. Just open it. Okay?"

        Juliet narrowed her eyes at Ophelia before walking out of the kitchen to her room. She placed the letter down on her desk and sat on her bed. She thought about how weird her sister was acting, and how much she really needed to break things off with Dylan. Both were pressing issues, but especially with Ophelia. She was hiding something, and it had to do with that stupid letter. The voice in the back of her head wanted her to open it, it was begging her to. But she was far too tired, and if she read a letter now she might fall asleep.

      That still didn't soothe her mind, though, because she wanted to know what it inhabited that made her sister act so weird. Ophelia and Juliet never kept anything from each other, Juliet learned that much when her sister found out about Dylan. Recalling the moment her sister found everything out, Juliet could see the way Ophelia's heart broke. They trusted each other, and Juliet kind of—sort of trusted the fact that maybe she should open the letter. She forced herself up, walking over to her desk to sit back down and open the letter. She ignored the side with the address, assuming it was just from one of her friends— a surprise Ophelia knew about. Yeah, that's it.


Dear Juliet,

       Hi. I don't really know how to start a letter, or know how to spell correctly. And it's two am in the middle of Los Angeles. I haven't been able to sleep because I guess I have something that I've been meaning to tell you. I don't know how long this is gonna be, considering it's in a hotel notepad with the skinniest paper known to man. Can paper be skinny? I don't know, but I think my lines are starting to go crooked. It's not like you're going to see this, anyway, I was hoping to be able to tell you this all in person.

        I love you. Not in a friend way, not in the way you want me to. I'm in love with you, like, super in love. You're all I can think about, the thought of you keeps me up at night, Juliet. Just writing your name makes me smile, even just thinking of it makes me happy. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, I think you're the love of my life. I've known for a while, I've known since that night in the park.

        Remember when you came to visit me? It was this past August and you hadn't seen me in a bit, and we snuck out to walk to the park. You held my hand and wore my favorite hoodie, which you have to this day. I remember how beautiful you looked, and the way you looked at me like I was the only person you cared about. I hope you feel that way. That's how I feel about you, Jules.

       Anyway, you put on music and we danced, even if it was midnight. You had no shame, and I loved it. It's one of my favorite things about you. Then, you pulled me in to dance. You put your hands around my neck and played with the ends of my hair as we just rocked back and forth to a Taylor Swift song. I don't remember which one, you'd have to tell me if you ever see this. (I really hope you don't. This is gonna be really super duper embarrassing.)

       It was when you looked at me with that smile on your face, and then gave me a kiss on the cheek, that I knew. I really knew that I loved you, which is so stupid and sappy. I just felt my heart grow and make room for you, and you haven't left it since. No matter what happens, you'll always have my heart Juliet. You deserve to know that.

       I'm so in love with you that being away from you is like I'm drowning. You know when Percy forgets all his memories? But he remembers Annabeth? I'm such a nerd for this, but that's how I feel about you. If I forgot everything, I'd remember you. I know I would, you take up every bit of my mind. Every thing reminds me of you, every thing I do. Like today, someone asked me a question in an interview and I had to force myself not to bring up a story with you in it because that's something we did together. It's kind of embarrassing how much you've embedded yourself into my life (is that a word? you're kind of a lot smarter than me, Jules.)

        This is already four pages and I'm barely done. I have so much more to say and I can't barely even put it all into words. I love every thing about you, you don't even understand it. I don't think I'll ever even be able to admit it to you, because it would take me hours. I'm gonna try my best here, but there wouldn't be enough paper in the world. You're my best friend and the love of my life, I know it. Words aren't enough for that.

        I love the way you smile and the dimples that you say you hate. You look just like the photos I've seen of your brother, it's almost uncanny. I love the way you tuck your hair behind your ear as a nervous habit, because you always do it around me. I love when you give me a kiss on the cheek and you leave a lipstick stain. I complain, but secretly I have an album with selfies of your kiss marks. I think it's the cutest thing, the way you try to wipe it off because you panic. I love your hair, no matter how you have it. You're just so beautiful, it almost seems impossible for someone to be that beautiful.

        What's it like to be that beautiful and not even know it? You walk around every day and make me feel like you're the only woman in the world, and I think that's crazy because you don't even know. I love the way you hug me, it makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world. The whole world goes quiet when I'm with you. That sounds so stupid, so if you ever read this, you can't make fun of me for it.

         I swear my hand writing is getting bigger because this is so long. I just wanted to let you know that I love you. I love you more than I've loved anything. You're like the sun. I need you to live. I love you. I love you. I love you. Don't ever change.


PS. I hated that I wrote this. You're never
reading it. If you do, blame LEENA!!!!

OH !

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