xxxi. "you'll come back to each other"

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IN REAL LIFE


































JULIET WAS HOLDING OPHELIA'S VLOG as she walked down her driveway, "We are going for a nice little drive, because Taylor Swift is beckoning us. imgonnagetyouback is calling my name." Ophelia laughed as she took the camera from Juliet once she got in the car, "You are literally projecting."

"It's just relatable to me right now, and you know it," Juliet gave a knowing look to her sister. "Like, it's art. A masterpiece, like she's so me! Gonna be your wife or smash up your bike? Me! I can tell when somebody still wants me? That's so me, gang can know I fuck with this." Ophelia started the car, driving off as the camera remained on, "You are literally just still projecting."

"Shut up! Love you," Juliet leaned back in her seat, going on her phone to immediately open it to Walker's spam post. She laughed at the first photo, until she scrolled. God damn it. She hated that she was forced to go through this alone, when her best friend was going through it all as well. She knew it was her fault, but she wished it wasn't. She wished she could be there for him, she knew how he was feeling. She needed to help him.

       Her apology letter was great, it helped a lot mentally, but she hasn't gotten the courage to send it. She didn't know if an apology was what Walker wanted, didn't know if Walker even wanted her back in his life. From what he said, she was pretty sure "we can't do this" is a clear sign of: STAY AWAY FROM ME. As much as she hated that and it hurt to know, she knew it was best. All she's done is hurt him, hurting herself in the process too. She was an awful best friend, and an even worse almost—girlfriend. She wasn't meant to be loved by someone as good as him, and she knew that.

"Have you talked to Walker?" It was almost like Ophelia read her mind, interrupting her thoughts. Juliet shook her head, fidgeting with the hem of her shorts, "I wrote an apology letter, but it's stupid. He doesn't want me back in his life, if he did, he would've reached out by now. It's the middle of May, and we're just completely no contact. It's weird." Ophelia shot her sister a sympathetic look before facing the road again, "I'm sure he misses you, Jules. There's no way he doesn't, you were attached at the hip. You'll come back to each other, that's how this all works."

      It was stupid, but those last two sentences made her tear up. Juliet wasn't sure if they'd ever go back to each other, and she hated the fact that she hoped they didn't. She kept hurting him, she'd always hurt him, why would they ever work? They're so different, but too alike, it wouldn't ever work. Walker was outgoing, and while Juliet was, too, they were outgoing in different settings. Walker could wow a crowd of people, Juliet could wow her family and friends. Walker was overbearingly nice to anyone, he was the worst case of a people pleaser, while Juliet would cuss someone out if they looked her the wrong way enough.

        "I don't think we'll go back to each other," Juliet said it simply, forcing herself to push away the tears. She'd cried enough, she didn't need her sister to see her crying, too. As much as they loved each other, emotions were a tricky subject. Especially since she knew she was in the wrong, she didn't need her sister's brutal honesty. She just wasn't sure how to tell her that, and that made this all harder.

The car was silent after that, apart from the light noise of Taylor Swift playing in the background. Juliet found herself unable to even hum along, as much as she knew every song playing like the back of her hand. Everything was beginning to remind her of Walker, and she hated it. She wanted to go a day without thinking of him, spend a day with Dylan without automatically comparing him to Walker. It seemed impossible, sitting in the passenger seat of Ophelia's car. Walker wasn't far, he was merely a six hour car ride away. She wished he was further, although she had a feeling there was no where he could be to make her not think of him. He consumed every corner of her mind, and she hated it.

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