Against The Tide (Formerly Two Tribes)

78: The Blame Game

"Good morning, mum," Afrah greeted; her voice groggy. She had just woken up after offering her fajr prayer. Hajiya's call was unexpected.

"Good morning, my dear," her mother greeted back. "How are you feeling today?"

"Same as yesterday," she admitted. "Nothing has changed. Jameel is still ignoring me," she heaved a sigh. "By the way, what's the reason you called me this early?"

"What do you expect? After calling me last night, crying, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking of you and how you're doing. You made me extremely worried yesterday, Afrah."

"I'm sorry," Afrah lowered her head in shame. She shouldn't have involved her mother. Now, things was probably only going to get worse. "I shouldn't have bothered you."

"You can call me anytime you need me. You are my daughter. I can never get tired of you, Nazeer or Jinan. I will always be here when you need me. Don't hesitate to share your worries with me."

Afrah blinked rapidly; the sting of unshed tears blurring her vision. She suddenly missed her mother so much. All she wanted was to be in her arms again-to whisper in her ear that everything was going to be fine. "I love you so much, mum," she choked out. "Thank you for worrying about me. You people are the only ones that truly care about me. Jameel does not." Afrah had decided against telling her problems to her family, but the way her mother's sleep had been disrupted because she stayed up all night worrying about her, tugged at her heartstrings. Maybe telling everything to her mother would ease the burden she was carrying on her shoulders. "I'm not happy, mum." She choked out. "I have been trying so hard to be strong, but I can't do this anymore."

"Calm down," she spoke in a low-pitched voice; her voice steady. "What happened?"

"Jameel doesn't love me anymore," she cried; the words heavy on my tongue. "Ever since Najah left, he has not been himself. He has been shutting me out. I think he is now transferring his frustrations on me."

"Are you sure you didn't do anything else to him?"

With a single finger, Afrah wiped away her tears.  Did she do anything wrong to him? She shook her head for she knew that Jameel was only holding onto her feud with his mother because he didn't want to seem pathetic being affected over someone who dumped him. "I didn't," she finally answered. His anger wasn't justified at all.

"Have you tried talking to him?" She continued.

Afrah let out a humorless chuckle. "Talk to who? Jameel that won't even look me in the eyes or breath the same air with me for five minutes? The only time I get to speak to him, mum, is when he comes to see Fawaaz and I make use of the opportunity, and somehow, the conversations always turn into one argument or the other. I'm tired of trying. Why must I be the only one making the effort? That self-centered man seems comfortable with how things are between us."

"Afrah," she called; her voice firm. "That's your husband you're speaking about."

Gnashing her teeth, fresh tears welled up in Afrah's eyes. She couldn't believe her ears. Her mother's words felt like betrayal. "Husband? Who? Is this how a marriage is supposed to be? This man avoids me like the plague. He is not—"

"Afrah!" She called, warningly.

"Are you taking his side?" Afrah almost choked on the words. "His mother would never do that for me." Her mother, the one person she expected to be on her side no matter what, was the same person taking her oppressor's side.

"I'm not, Afrah. I barely even know what's going on," she clarified. "I'm just not in support of how you address him. He is still your husband."

Afrah didn't know if that was said to make her feel better, but the betrayal she felt hadn't subsided.