Against The Tide (Formerly Two Tribes)

69: A Lost Battle

As Afrah prepared lunch, her mind was consumed by a whirlwind of emotions. Jameel and Najah had only been separated for two days, and she found herself already caught in the crossfire of their complex relationship. Mixed feelings tugged at her heart, leaving her torn between empathy and resentment. She felt empathetic because deep within her, she knew Najah was not a bad person and she also deserved to be happy. Putting her jealousy aside, she acknowledged how dedicated Najah had been to her marriage with Jameel. And how patient she had been over the years. She felt a tad guilty for the way things had turned out. Even with Hajiya. She would undo and unsay the things she said to her if she could. Her conscience was weighing heavily on her.

However, at the same time, she couldn't shake off the feeling of resentment that settled in the pit of her stomach. It seemed unfair to her that she had to bear the burden of taking care of the household and her child alone, while Jameel seemed oblivious to her struggles. The sadness in Jameel's eyes when he bade goodbye to Hajiya and especially Najah didn't go unnoticed by Afrah. The way his voice trembled slightly as he assured her that everything would be fine. It was as clear as day to Afrah that Jameel loved Najah deeply, and was trying to hide the fact from her because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. The realization fueled her resentment further.

As she sliced vegetables for the salad, Afrah's thought drifted to how she woke up and Jameel had already left for work. He didn't even bother to wake her up. That was atypical of him.

Tossing the freshly sliced vegetables into a bowl, her movements became more forceful, mirroring the storm of emotions raging within her. The sound of the knife hitting the chopping board grew louder, echoing the turmoil in her mind. Each slice seemed to carry the weight of her unspoken questions, the longing for answers that only Jameel could provide.

Afrah decided to confront Jameel about it later. She wanted him to tell her what she already knew. Because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake off the fact that he was distraught by Najah's decision to divorce him. She had witnessed the cracks in his facade, the way his eyes lost their sparkle and his laughter became hollow. It would indisputably hurt her to hear it directly from the horse's mouth, but she was unyielding.

Finishing up the salad, she set the bowl aside and took a moment to collect her thoughts and plan how to go about the discussion with him. She knew talking to Jameel might degenerate into an argument and she didn't want that. For once, she wanted to be understanding and give him the opportunity to share with her what had been eating him up. She needed to face the truth no matter how painful it may be.

As the day went on, she found herself eagerly awaiting Jameel's return even though she tried to occupy herself with Fawaaz by playing with him.

The table was already set and she had made sure everything was perfect.

Just as she picked up her phone to call him, it buzzed. It was a message from Jameel apologizing for being late and asking her if she needed anything as he was already close to their house.

She sent him a quick reply and kept her phone back on the table.

Her thoughts drifted to Najah. She wondered if she was going through with her plans to divorce Jameel. In as much as she felt a tad guilty for how things played out between the both of them, she would really be glad if they split. Sharing her husband with another woman was what she never expected in her life. She had always avoided even the thought because she knew the kind of a person she was-the jealous type. She had always hated the thought of sharing since childhood.

More than anything else, she wanted Najah to follow through with the divorce so that she could finally have her husband all to herself. She longed for the days when it would be just the two of them, without any interference or competition. Just her, him, and their kids.