Against The Tide (Formerly Two Tribes)

56: Bridging Gaps

Jameel lay on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He had just returned from work, exhausted and drained, the last thing he wanted was to be welcomed by a nagging wife. He had barely even had the chance to take off his coat before she started accusing him of things he knew absolutely nothing about. He was so confused yet he tried to reason with her but she was not ready to listen to him. It seemed like every little thing he did set her off. Since her younger sister left, she started complaining about every little thing, always finding fault with him. She even went as low as disrespecting his mother.

He heaved a sigh. He knew that his day was far from being over.

Jameel knew that he was not perfect. He had his flaws, just like anyone else. But he was doing the best he could. He was working long hours to provide for his family, just so he could be a good husband and father. Seemingly, nothing he did was ever good enough for Afrah. Ever since the incident which he regretted with every fiber of his being—hitting her—he felt like he had been walking on eggshells around her, always trying to avoid setting her off. Always went out of his way to do things to please her, but no matter what he did, she always found something to complain about. He was tired of it. He was fed up with her constant nagging and criticism.

Jameel shook his head. He couldn't keep living like this, always feeling like he was walking on thin ice. For the first time since he got married to Afrah, he felt he needed to make it known to Afrah that he was not a pushover and that it was not okay for her to speak to him the way she deemed fit. He realized it was time he manned up. His love for Afrah had not decreased in any form, but he couldn't take the constant pressure anymore. It was getting too much. He needed to put a stop to it.

As much as Jameel did not want to fight with Afrah, he needed to convey how he was feeling to her. He did not want to keep pretending that everything was alright when in fact she was making him feel low about himself. He had been trying his best to understand and be there for her whenever she needed him. He only wanted the same energy from her. Not constant nagging.

He was still engrossed in his thoughts when he saw Najah in front of him. He didn't even notice her entrance.

Wordlessly, she sat on the edge of the bed, watching him.

Jameel sat up.

Najah cleared her throat.

"What?" Jameel asked, uninterested.

"I heard you and Afrah."

Jameel resisted the urge to transfer his aggression to her. "Okay, and?"

"I know it's not in my place to ask, but I really want to know what's going on, and if there's something..
Anything I can do to help the situation."

"Please," Jameel beseeched. "Can you stay out of this? I don't want to talk about it. My head is hurting right now. Just leave me alone."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Jameel nodded. "Please just leave."

As Jameel expected, Najah stood up and left without making a fuss. Afrah would have burnt the room down with her mouth.

Why couldn't Afrah just be like Najah?

Thinking about the things Afrah had said to him, Jameel couldn't help but feel a tad guilty about Hajiya not visiting them. If he was being truthful to himself, he knew there was an atom of truth in what Afrah had said and in a way, her feelings were justified. If indeed it was Najah who had given birth, his mother would have rushed to the house to take care of her and the baby.

Picking up his phone, he dialed his mother's number.

"Assalamualaikum, Hajiya," he greeted as soon as she picked up the call.