Chapter Fourteen.

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After the hospital had made sure Ema was fine, I brought him back. I myself left the dorm to sleep at Jane's since too many unwanted thoughts kept appearing around Ema, making me uncomfortable and tense, and God knows he needed some rest since the circles under his eyes were beginning to get darker and darker. And I needed him in top shape for our presentation.

On that note, I didn't even sleep as I re-did the math and scripts, falling asleep at Jane's desk while doing so. Waking up to Jane's light probing.

"Rise and shine?" He grinned softly and I groaned, sitting up stiffly.

"I am doomed... tomorrow is the presentation... and Ema left the window open, soaking our stuff." I mumbled, standing to look over the slides and papers.

"Well, you finished, no? Has he?"

"... I'd hope. But he can probably finish it before class." Could he...? He had painted that...

"God, you and him need to figure your shit out." Jane sighed, "and you need to relax with your self-homophobia."

"Why do you say that?" I rounded on him, his eyes widening and he lifted his hands.

"Look- I just thought you'd like men as well when we were kids, that's all."

"You are wrong." I scoffed, "I am-"

"Skyler. You were the first to not mistake him as a girl. And it seems you never have. You never described him as girly or feminine, just-"

"Shhhh." I threw a pencil at him, rolling my eyes as he began to laugh.

"It's ok to be gay."

"But I'm not gay!"

"Sure, whatever." He walked to the door, "I gotta go to band practice, enjoy your turmoil."

"I will, thanks." I grumbled, glazing at my watch, I had time to stop by the dorms if I was ready to go in 10 minutes.

. . .

Entering the dorm I paused at the sad sight of Ema, his hair a rats nest basically, half closed eyes and slouching posture over his desk, and the thick paper piled by his feet with the most detailed and beautifully painted pictures of our design made it being clear he had stayed up all night. And as I stood there, I realized the extent of his drowsiness as he didn't even register that I was there.

And perhaps, it was some stupid thing called empathy that had me texting Jane to give me Heidi's number after stepping outside and once I had it asking her what Ema's favorite food and drink were, patiently waiting for her reply.

'Spicy foods and eggnog. Good luck on the eggnog till winter.' With little emojis.

'Thank you.' I was rich, I could find some dumb eggnog.

. . .

I could not, in fact, find eggnog.

So fueled by guilt and now anger that I couldn't find some stupid drink, I gathered the ingredients on the counter of Jane's kitchen, adjusting my glasses as I read over the recipe. I could pack some for today, then age the rest and give it to him after. It was so stupidly long. No wonder people only did it for the holidays. But still. No restaurant or store having it was just pure ridiculousness.

It had to be perfect. If I was skipping classes for this, I would kill myself if it went south.

I took care in every step till finally, I had a decent brew, and letting it cool, I set myself on making stupid spicy rice noodle stir fry and kimchi Jjigae, being the first recipes to catch my eye, along with some simple spicy ramen on the side.

I didn't waste time questioning myself on why. It was simply repayment for such a good presentation. That was it. Nothing more. Ever.

Packing the food, I set on my way back to my dorm, looking up at the sky to make sure I didn't have to run in case it rained, but it proved to be a clear sky, so adjusting the bag of jars filled with eggnog I'd have to hide and the smaller bag of food with the flask of the drink, I went in search of a basket and fucking stupid dumb flowers.

Washington hadn't been my first choice to live in but I had grown used to it as time passed, and now I almost enjoyed walking the dirty streets, weren't for my conflicting feelings and thoughts on my whole situation. Though I distracted myself with buying a basket bouquet of tulips and filler flowers, placing the food and drink inside as well, and for good measure buying a card, taking my time to draw out a middle finger and placing it inside the basket as well, rushing back since the sky had begun to collect gray clouds.

Opening the door to find Ema now on the floor, asleep, covered in paint and panting a bit, his cheeks flushed. The dumbass got sick...

With a groan I went back out after leaving the basket hidden under my bed, getting medicine and a broth, and by now, I was walking in the dark on my way back, angrier at myself than anything. But soon preoccupied by Ema still on the floor.

Setting aside the new stuff I walked over, picking him up and placing him on the bed, ignoring his feverish stare when he woke up slightly at being moved.

"You dumbass. You can't present like this so take this medicine and drink the broth." I sat him up, his mumbled complaints incoherent so I ignored them, forcing the medicine down his throat, letting him grumble a bit after having him drink the broth, much to his clear annoyance, but he was still too tired to really push me away.

"Yeah, mhm. You make so much sense." I rolled my eyes as he made a face, "just drink the damn broth." He looked stubborn, or as stubborn as someone as tired as he could, and I scoffed, opening his mouth for another spoonful.

Once he had finished it I laid him back down, getting up to fetch my face towel, dampening it and coming back to clean his face and hands from paint, my mind blank as I did so, his tired eyes never leaving me till I moved away, only then closing, and I tucked the blankets around him, stepping back to sit on my own bed, the cardboard wall on the floor between us.

I hated him. I hated him so much. I hated him. A lot.

I kept repeating this, while I set the basket on his desk and while I hid the extra eggnog, while I got ready for bed and even when I tried to sleep. I just had to convince myself that I hated him.

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