Nothing But Each Other (book 2. of Nothing But Trouble)

22) Old Entries

Throughout the day it only got worse. With the harsh winds nipping at us, even my scarf was struggling to be any sort of help. I mean it hid my face though so that's something. Not much, but something.

"Just a little longer,"Minho encouraged, keeping his hand out. Pulling my scarf up as far it could go, we struggled against the harsh winds trying to blow us backwards.

"Yeah. Just a little longer in hell,"I said under my breath. Still, I tried not to be too much of a downer, even if it was only to myself. Right now, attitude meant a lot. It contributed to whether or not we would doubt ourselves which contributed to whether or not we would work hard enough to make it.

I also know that we want to make it. We really, really want to make it. Making it would mean being safe every day. It would mean spending time with Aris and Minnie without the fear of death. It would mean finding Harriet and Sonya. It would mean a chance to live and not just survive.

"You think if we ask nicely the wind will stop?"Minnie huffed, taking a breath before trudging forward.

"We just need to keep going. It's all going to be fine,"Aris whispered to himself. While it wasn't meant for my ears something about his optimism put a little more fire into me. If he said it'll be fine then it'll be fine. It has to be. Because anything less means we aren't getting out of here. Ever.

"It's all going to be fine,"I repeated, forcing his words to sink into my head.

"Yeah. It will,"He said from next to me. With that making the nerves almost go away completely, I nodded my head as I stayed close to him. Putting his hand in mine, we kept pushing through. After all, it was the only thing that we could do.

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Getting tired, when everything just slightly let up we all stopped for a little bit. Taking a seat a little bit away from everyone, I just opened my journal and got to reading again.

My wishlist
1)I want to remember my family
2)I want my real name back
3)I want to get out of here
4)I want to torture anyone who's ever had any part in this

I know that they're all basic, but they're all true. I'd like to know who I am before this. The only person with that luxury, if you could even call it that, is Lizzie. Even then though, they took something even more important than her name. While he sneaks out to see her sometimes, they can't actually talk. Newt and her can't be the siblings that they deserve to be.

Putting it down, I stared at the blonde boy, squinting my eyes as I tried to see if any part of him seemed familiar. While it now made sense why I could trust him, who was Lizzie? Did we know her? Was this even the same Newt?

Picking it up again, I kept going.

I wonder if I have a sibling. While the girls seem like it, they can't be my blood ones. Aris also can't be one either, which is good. I mean I can't have a crush on my brother.

I wonder if it is a crush though. I just feel so calm around him. I feel invincible, like I could do anything. I feel like I'm flying. When he sneaks into my room just to cuddle until we sleep, it feels like more. When we hold hands or get so close, it seems like love.

I could be in love with Aris. I think that I am. I want to be too. We just got so well together, and maybe he feels the same way. Maybe everything just feels calmer. Maybe he also thinks that I'm his other half and that I even him out. Maybe he feels a rush when I smile and looks at me when I can't tell. Maybe his eyes look for me. Maybe he just wants to lean forward and kiss me.