Dragons See Dragonflies - J.H

Fifteen.

No God above us, can we repent this sin?
No soul is innocent.
Everybody wants to love.

Ethan didn't turn up to school for a week and a half. I wondered if something really had happened with Roofus and he was grieving. Though I was quick to remember the way he looked at me and that thought ended quickly.
The downside about feeling everyone's emotions was that I happened to feel the longing and lust that came from everyone. It didn't surprise me when I felt both things from Joseph Austins and Bella Swan when they spoke about Ethan. At lunch they spoke about how he had come down with an illness.
So not his dog.
I wanted to show up at his house and beg to know if he was OK but I feared it would only make things worse.
He was scared of me.
Of me.
It had been years, decades since a human had looked at me like that with such intensity. He looked as if the word vampire had finally sunken down into his mind and he was alone with one.
Maybe that's what had happened, he was finally having the right reaction. No. It couldn't be, it was too delayed.
I wish I knew the exact moment that those emotions were triggered so I could pinpoint exactly where he was in my room and find out what had changed his mind.

He had lied about his dog, or he was lying to his friends, but that wouldn't make sense. He was lying because he was scared of me. What had I done to entice that?
I finally went on that promised shopping trip with Alice even though she told me it didn't matter after my first vampire alcohol experience. I think she was trying to distract me and it worked for the most part, though I wasn't fully able to get rid of the green eyed boy from my mind.
Despite this, I was able to give Alice the compliments she was fishing for, especially when she brought out an outfit she wanted to wear for her date with Edward. That one was actually very pretty.
We both protected our mind well with our most recent hunting trip activities (which mostly included pushing Emmett off the cliffs edge to see which one of us could make him create the biggest water splash as he landed in the ocean) so Edward wouldn't see the clothes Alice had put together, then I went to my room again.

When Monday rolled around and I sat with my family, pretending to eat lunch, one of the first things I noticed was Ethan sitting with his friends. His back was pointed towards us. I couldn't see his face or inspect if it had anymore bruises.
I couldnt wait for philosophy, I wanted to make sure his dog was alright or find out the truth about what had happened. I wanted to know why he left so quickly, why he was afraid of me.
I walked into the class and was surprised to see him already sat down. My body skipped with the urge to be near him again, press my knee against his, jokingly shove his shoulder and get a smile in return.
I wanted to hear his voice, to push a laugh of 2 out of him. To ignite the closeness that always brimmed but never toppled over when we were around each other.
I just wanted Ethan.

I sat next to him, getting out my book before looking. From his side profile, I couldn't detect any new sources of harm, I could only see his straight nose-bridge and the stubble that was growing from his skin that was clearly shaved off.
"How's Roofus?" I asked gently, my voice on edge as I tried not to enhance anymore fear he may have because of me.

I saw his eyes slide over to me, but he didn't move his head which remained ducked down for the remainder of the lesson. He didn't answer me, I didn't try again.
There were heavy bags under his eyes, like he hadn't slept for a while, I wished I could use my gift to make him fall comfortably asleep.
Maybe he would've drifted off on my shoulder then relaxed completely onto me. I would make the teacher oblivious of Ethan's sleeping and continue to make him comfortable so he had the best rest ever. Perhaps Ethan would snore quietly or snuggle into my shirt, whatever brought him comfort.
I'd let him do it. I'd let him do anything to me.
I didn't say anything as I sat in the back of Edward car, depite him and Alice knowing there was something wrong with me. I pretended like everything was ok, nothing bad had happened. I wasn't being ignored.
I wasn't being discarded, I was wanted by him, he was just too overwhelmed with me. He still needed me as a friend, he wasn't using me for popularity then breaking it off because he realised it didn't make him any better.
I wasn't being used aga--
"Jasper,"