Dragons See Dragonflies - J.H

Nine.

You're looking at this wonderful thing that you may never get.

"What exactly makes you, you?" Mr. Lawrence asked, the question silencing the beginning class chatter.
There was a generic recreation of the question on the PowerPoint which I wasn't really paying attention to.
Gracie Lisborn stuck her hand up to answer, I didn't listen. I was too focused on the heartbeat next to me, focusing on it's rhythm.
I'd picked up how even the slightest movement in my chair, or when I turned my page, it would increase and stutter.
When I answered a question I could feel the intensity of his green eyes on my face. How I wanted to stare longingly back.
It had been four days and Ethan and I hadn't shared a word since. We would look though, across from the canteen, when he entered class.
It was clear that since we weren't speaking, he had grown closer to Bella, they had bonded over their shared experience of being the knew kid.
I hated it though, especially when Ethan stared at me the wrapped his arm around the girl, looking away with a proud smirk when she snuggled deeper into his side.

It was almost like he knew how hard this was for me and was rubbing it in my face by getting closer to a girl. It bothered me, but it also didn't.
If Isabella Swan was what he wanted, I had no right of stopping him. That was the whole point of the no talking rule anyway.
But he's yours.
No.
Not yet.
"Qualities, personality," Ethan waved the two options out on his hands, "But I personally think it's how you treat others,"

The teacher hummed in approval and also speculation. It was normal for Ethan to speak up in class, but giving personal opinions wasn't really his thing.
"Elaborate Ethan Ferris,"

"If you’re nice, people associate that with you. If you go back on your word, people will think you're unreliable and untrustworthy,"
I clenched my hand on the table and refused to look at the boy next to me.
Instead, out of pure pettiness, I raised my hand.

"Yes Jasper Hale," The professor dismissed my raised hand quickly, I could feel his emotions. It was if he could sense the debate about to happen.

"I disagree with Ethan Ferris,"
It was the first time I had spoken his name, full name, outloud since I had forced myself to not speak about him.
There was a rule in this class, to remain professional as 'the young philosophers we were', we had to address each other in our full names.
I didn't mind it until now, saying his name. I liked the way it slipped so carefully out of my mouth, like it was meant to be said by me.
He scoffed slightly in response to my disagreement, but I still didn't look at him.
I was at school to learn, and I was learning.
"I think how someone was raised is key to what makes them who they are, their social surroundings and what influences them, then lastly their DNA as that can affect their lifestyle,"

I heard the way Ethan's teeth grounded together and bit my lower lip to keep the smirk off my face.
I definitely won that.
"You must've been raised in a pretty shit way then," He mumbled under his breath.

"Excuse me?"
That broke my want to not look at him. I had never turned so quickly in my seat.
Before I could keep the anger in my grasp, it bled out like blood would from my bitemarks. Had he always been this beautiful?
Yes, absolutely he had, I'd just enabled myself to bask in his beauty as a punishment for ruining our friendship.
Looking at him was like drinking a handmade poison willingly then wondering why I felt so sick. But if I ever were to drink something so damaging, something made by the hands of Ethan Ferris, I would take to it kindly, knowing he had put in the effort to kill me.
Effort, that was all I wanted, that was a sign that he cared. Whether he cared to kill me or cared to love me.
That care would be the first time I had felt such a thing from a lover.

"You're excused," He looked back at me too, only I had to double take to make sure I wasn't imagining his sarcastic, rude words.
His expression was light, almost like he was talking about the weather. The bruise on his cheek was mostly gone but there was a small pink lining on his cheekbones that stuck out with his smile.
That was the main reason I had to make sure he was being rude.
The smile, it was so carefree, like he was gently correcting a statement I had said.
He was being an asshole, and I deserved every second of his attitude.
But damn did I love that sassy smile nevertheless.