Love On The Sidelines

thirty-two

note: this chapter is very heavy on talk of SA. I wanted to further explain Courtney and Bunny's backstory before moving to the sequel. There obviously aren't any details involved but just to make you aware that it is mentioned throughout.

'L-Le...' Her heart aches as her girlfriend sobs down the phone, immediately causing Leah to push herself away from the table she's sitting at with Lia, Kim and Amanda.

'Court... What's going on? What's happened? Talk to me?' Leah says as her teammares teammates look on concerned for the woman who has become one of their friends.

'I uh- I need- Shit. You're at training. I-I'm sorry.' Courtney mumbles as Leah leans against the wall keeping the phone at her ear.

'Don't apologise. I was just having some lunch. Talk to me. What's happened? Tell me what's going on? Where are you?' Leah asks.

'Doctors.' Courtney replies.

'Right. Can you take some deep breaths for me, yeah? Whatever has happened we're going to sort it but I just need you to breathe, Court.' Leah says softly.

'Do you need to go?' Kim asks quietly as she glances at the blonde who nods her head.

'I-I can't.' Courtney sobs.

'Are you inside the doctors or are you in the car, love?' Leah asks.

'Car.' Courtney replies.

'Go. I'll speak to Jonas. I'll explain.' Kim says quietly and Leah nods her head.

'Thank you.' Leah mouths to Kim before grabbing her stuff from the table and rushing out of the canteen.

'I'm on my way, love. Stay where you are, okay?' Leah says softly as Courtney continues to sob quietly on the other end of the line.

'I won't be long until I'm with you, okay? Stay on the phone with me and I'll be there as soon as you can.' Leah continues.

****

'What's happened?' Leah asks leaning over the centre console and wrapping her arms around Courtney who flinches slightly before allowing herself to lean forward into the blonde's embrace.

'I-I had my smear.' Courtney admits and Leah nods her head.

'It's the first I've had since- Even during my labour I didn't really have an internal checks. I think I maybe had one at like the beginning and then they decided it was more stress and trauma than needed at that time.' Courtney says.

'Oh, love... If I had known, I would've come with you for support.' Leah says and Courtney shakes her head.

'I didn't realise I would struggle so much. I just- I thought I was doing okay, thought I was slowly healing it all.' Courtney admits.

'I've not been through anything like you but if I've learned anything it's that healing is like a rollercoaster, constant ups and downs.' Leah says causing Courtney to laugh slightly against the blonde's shoulder.

'That sounds like something straight out of a self-help book.' Courtney replies pulling back to look at the blonde.

'Do you want to sit here for a bit or do you want to go home?' Leah asks softly, her fingers linking through the other woman's.

'D-Do you not need to be heading back to training?' Courtney asks and Leah nods her head.

'Jonas messaged me to say I could have the rest of the afternoon off... I'm not missing much, just a boring meeting.' Leah replies wiping the brunette's cheeks who sighs.

'I'm ready to go home.' Courtney says quietly and Leah nods her head.

'Meet you there?' Leah asks.

'Yeah.' Courtney replies softly.

****

'I knew him...' Courtney says quietly as Leah makes them some sandwiches.

'Knew who, love?' Leah asks glancing at the brunette who's sitting on the counter.

'The guy who raped me. I knew him.' Courtney replies causing the blonde to immediately drop the knife she's holding onto the chopping board and make her way over.

'You don't have to talk about this if it upsets you, love.' Leah says and Courtney shakes her head.

'I-I want to.' Courtney replies and Leah nods her head. Her hands rest on Courtney's thighs as she stands between the brunette's legs.

'We were on a night out. I actually- I don't remember much of it but I remember the feeling of him holding me down, I remember him telling me to shut the fuck up when I was begging him to stop.' Courtney says, tears streaming down her cheeks.

'He just left me there afterwards... Elle found me and took me to the hospital where they ran all sorts of tests.' Courtney continues as Leah reaches up to gently wipe her cheeks.

'Did he spike you?' Leah asks and Courtney nods her head.

'They said that's why I can't really remember a lot of it which I suppose in a way I'm grateful for. I don't want to remember the details.' Courtney admits and Leah nods her head.

'They said there wasn't enough evidence to convict him so he's still just walking free in Glasgow which is why I moved. I couldn't live there.' Courtney says.

'The justice system has let you down big time.' Leah says and Courtney nods her head.

'I-Uh. I found out I was pregnant weeks later, Elle made me take a pregnancy test because I was in total denial... I couldn't be with anyone after him. I struggled so much with the thought of someone touching me. You were the first person.' Courtney says.

'W-What? Why didn't you tell me?' Leah asks.

'Because you would've treated me differently. You would've been overly gentle and I didn't want that.' Courtney replies.

'Did I- You'd tell me if I even did anything that made you uncomfortable though or triggered you, wouldn't you?' Leah asks and Courtney nods her head.

'I love you. I trust you and that makes all the difference. I know you're not gonna hurt me. I do want to make sure you aren't gonna treat me like I'm gonna break now. I don't want anything to change for us.' Courtney replies.

'Nothing changes, love...' Leah says softly. Wrapping her arms around the brunette, she gently pulls her to the edge of the counter and smiles as she feels the brunette's legs wrap tightly around her waist.

'I need to go back to the doctor's next week and get my smear done.' Courtney almost whispers.

'I'll be right there. You don't have to do this alone.' Leah says softly.