Him not you, book one.

Chapter 12

The school day hadn't even started but Felix was already at school. He had told his dad he was going to swim practice, but that was a huge lie. He was in the run down toilet block on the field. The grass of the field was mud and it was foggy and icy.

Felix wasn't alone; he was with Luke. After their time reading in Felix's room, they hadn't hung out. Luke left around nine, Felix didn't want his dad knowing anything. It had been a few days and they hadn't had any classes together so they had barely seen each other.

Felix had his back against the left wall of one of the tiny stalls, Luke had one hand in Felix's hair and the other flat against the wall next to Felix's head, holding up his weight. Felix had a hand on Luke's waist. They kissed passionately. Luke loved Felix's hair, he never told him but he hoped Felix knew. His fingers fit perfectly in his sweet shiny ringlets. Luke could get lost in Felix's emerald green eyes for days. Luke could feel Felix smiling against his lips. Felix felt so happy but it was hardly enjoyable because of how anxious he was. He loved Luke's smile, he had little dimples but they were deeper on his right cheek. The thought of someone finding out consumed him, it ruined every happy moment. He was enjoying everything so much but he didn't know what he was, the pressure of figuring that out in case people found out he wasn't straight made it hard to enjoy their moments. He couldn't stop thinking, what if his dad knew even just after their 'hang out'. He pulled back from Luke, stopping him from kissing.

"Are you okay?" Luke immediately asked, he was so concerned about making him uncomfortable. They had talked about Felix's so-called 'lack of experience' and Luke knew he wasn't sure about everything yet.

"Are you sure the door is locked?" Felix asked nervously.

Luke kissed Felix lightly once, just a peck.

"Yes." Luke said smiling.

Luke jiggled the door a bit, proving that it was locked. Felix lent back in and kissed Luke again, just lightly. Luke stopped kissing. As much as Luke loved kissing Felix, he liked talking to him almost as much.

"I was hoping to tell people, I just don't like... I'm bad at lying." Luke said. He knew it was hard to come out but because he had already done it he hardly remembered the fear.

"I don't want to." Felix said, terrified. "It's just I don't want my dad to know, I'm his only child and he'll hate me."

"I get it. I didn't tell my parents I was gay until they figured it out. Then my dad died six months later anyway. But can't we tell, like our friends." He asked.

"I really don't want to tell people yet." Felix said he hated that Luke had to keep him a secret but also knew he was not ready for people to know yet.

"Can I tell Jordan? He's that awkward kid that I'm always with. I'm his only friend and I'm currently keeping his whole life a secret. He won't tell. I promise." Luke said. In reality Jordan was already new but he knew he should've gotten permission first which he hadn't.

"Okay but please I..." Felix said, getting cut off before he could finish his thought.

"Nothing bad will happen." Luke interrupted. He knew whatever Felix was about to say was just his anxiety, and that he was right that Jordan wouldn't tell anyone.

They kissed briefly, but it was kinda more of a hug.

Felix jumped out of Luke's arms as he heard footsteps into the bathroom. He pushed himself into the corner of the stall. Luke peered through the crack of the stall but he couldn't see anything.

"Yo, Luke!" Hugo shouted.

"It's Hugo." Luke mouthed.

Felix shook his head. He didn't know who that was.