The Caliginous

33. Regret

I need a gangsta
To love me better
Than all the others do
To always forgive me
Ride or die with me
That's just what gangsters do

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Edinburgh, Scotland

Anaya's pov

I wore a dark blue dress, just like the colour of his eyes.

Looking at my reflection in the glass infront of me, I smile.

Kya chutiya thi main uske ishq mein.

Hun toh abhi bhi, cause I still love him.

But he doesn't.

And it fucking hurts.

A tear drop falls from my eyes as I drink another glass of alcohol.

Now I can also slam this glass badly and break it just because I am angry. But I don't.

Instead I tap on and and call the bartender.

"1 more" I say him and he pours.

I was about to drink it when someone held the glass and stopped me.

"What the fu-"

"Anaisha, you already had 6 glasses. Plus you are not even alcohol tolerant. Don't. Please." He says.

I turn my face and narrow my eyes to look at him in the fancy lights of the pub.

I gasped.

"See! My duck is here!" I say.

He smiles.

"Hmm" he says and takes the glass from my hand.

"Give me that!"

"Not gonna give you back!" He says and drinks it.

"You are bad as well." I say and then keep quiet.

My head was hurting but I wanted to drink more.

Because when the sorrowness of the alcohol used to hit my throat, the sorrowness and heavy feeling I have because of crying and being sad got less.

"What happened yaar? Why are you so sad?"

I look at him.

"Is it because of that book?"

"Y-you know-"

"Yeah, I saw you writing it once in office and then I-"

I nod quietly.

"Even if I don't know about it, I would have, all the things are over social media Anaya. Claiming you as suspect. And you seriously should not roam around like this-"

"Aaah! Idea!" I say

"Now what?"

"They think whatever I am writing about my crimes na, now I will write something."

"What Anaya?"

"I will write that Aish kidnapped Tanishqa's father and caged him." I say and laugh.

Sidaq smiled.

"Tum jhalli ho puri!" He says as he pated my head.

"But I have a question, why do you write such stories when you get scared of blood and all"

"I don't write such stories because I love blood and crime. I write the stories because I am so delusional and feel so happy that even after being so ruthless he loves her alot and would never harm her."