"If you truly wish to be with me, know this..." He whispers into the darkness while holding me, "I will control you, command you and tell you what to do." I remember how my eyes burst wide open and I tried to pull free. I completely freaked out. Who...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
When the summer arrived and along with it the summer break I worked. I worked through the whole thing. I did not have much else in my life, I wanted to get new clothes so I had to work and I hoped to get something else than what they were making at mum's work. I had been informed I still dress a little bit childlike and in high school that would not be appropriate! Pia told me, not in those exact words but close enough to be interpreted that way. We used to get those catalogs through mail, I kept looking at them and trying to figure out what I could buy when I got paid. Do they still send those? Catalogs I mean. Have you even seen what I mean?
We did not have MTV or those fancy channels. All we had was regular basic television from our great government and they mostly showed American dramas like bold and the beautiful. Does that still run on the tv by the way? So I had absolutely NO idea what style or what I would want to go for. I did not understand fashion! Not that I understand it now either.
I had been diagnosed with asthma a couple years before as an after disease from the influenza and had to head to the city 1.5 hrs away every month or so for check ups. That was my chance to go and see the shops!
We did not normally go to the city after the hospital visit, we couldn't afford the shopping spree or such. We went to the hospital for the tests and walked out. Simple as that. This time I asked mum if she wouldn't mind going shopping with me and I had not seen her tear up like that in a while. Not since dad left us. At that time he was living in a small cabin behind the pharmacy, near the bar so it was convenient for him. And we saw him occasionally of course.
So mum would go out with me and see that things fit... correctly. She was the professional here, I had to trust her as I had no clue what was good and what did go with what. Also I needed to get new bra, those little bralettes did nothing for me anymore.
I remember the day started cold, we had to leave around 8 am from home. Dad had for once promised to give us a lift, we did not need to take a bus. The hospital was the same, huff and puff into a thing and numbers appeared on the computer screen. How fancy. Doctor wondered why the medicine was not working and then gave me some breathing exercise guides, and sent us on our way. And as we drove, I stared at people, I watched how they dressed and what was in the stores. I knew exactly what I wanted, a pair of jeans, skirt, shirts. The whole deal.I also bought mum a new dress, she eyed on a long maxi length summer dress with this cute flora print on it. I told her to try it on, and she looked absolutely beautiful in it. She carried the dress, not letting the dress just hang on her.
The biggest issue I came across was the jeans. Believe it or not but as a 12 year old I had some serious hips. They were wide like titanic, I felt. We had to buy jeans that fit from the hips and butt, but were too big from the waist. Mum would need to take them with her to work so she could sew them to the right size.
When we got home, I tried on the clothes once or twice, maybe three times. Just to make sure they were still fine and I put them into the washer. Because what my mum taught me was to wash them as soon as possible, before wearing them. You never know who else has tried them on, you know.
And then I was ready for the very first year of high school ~ Or I thought I was.
