"If you truly wish to be with me, know this..." He whispers into the darkness while holding me, "I will control you, command you and tell you what to do." I remember how my eyes burst wide open and I tried to pull free. I completely freaked out. Who...
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Everyone had changed during the summer. Boys had grown taller, the girls had new haircuts and new clothes. Everyone, but me. I did not want to change my hair, Ollie had liked it the wild long way it was. I wanted to hold on to the memory of him just a little longer. I did not check out the boys in my class, but I heard and saw how the other girls in my class did. Friend of mine had a huge crush and she got her heart broken for the first time when he said that he did not like her. He didn't like her potato nose, he said. I never had noticed it before, until he said it. It was a little like a potato. Not a big or ugly potato but a potato nevertheless I suppose?
There were two girls in my class who were super close to each other, like the bff kind. Everyone knew there was no space for a third wheel, yet everyone dreamed of being able to even try. They were popular girls. It looked like every boy liked them and they were idolized by the rest of us.
My guess is that they either had seen me with Ollie or they saw that something had changed when we started the new school year. After all the beach we met on was public, it was busy, but not the most popular beach of our village. I still do not know for sure what it was but they started to want to hang out with me more.
My friend was pushed aside and I did not know how to tell them no. I just didn't want to make them angry so I let them... They spoke about boys a lot. And they were the first ones to know that another disco was going to happen next week. Return to school disco. The high school classes made money with the disco for their class trips, it was easy, free and only required 2 teachers to chaperone it.
So we went. Of course. Mum was not happy about my two new friends. Not that I was excited about them either, but I let them drag me around. I didn't have anything better to do and my other friend was behaving a little childish to my taste at the time. I was such a little adult you see. Cringe worthy now.
I remember wearing the fake Adidas tracksuit pants with those buttons on the side, or was it the stripes? Well anyway, they were fake and tracksuit pants. And at the time the crop tops were a thing so I had one of those too, bright orange. And said something silly like "baby" or something. The two new friends of mine wore something similar, they had called me and told me what I should wear. Their adidas pants were not fake though, far from it. And those crop tops of theirs were not from the local shop but from the city.
The disco started like the first one I had been in. Slowly warming up the dancers and waiting for people to show up. We were sitting in the corner near the boys and one caught my eye. He looked a little sad, he was slightly aside of the group and it caught my attention even more. Sinea noticed that and pointed it to Nea. They both told me knowingly that the boy was called Jonah and that he had a crush on me. On me? I question the fact, but Nea is determined and tells me to just wait till the slow song comes along. And how about that! Jonah does not come and ask me. However a boy Micah, from our class does. I shrug and join him, he is taller than me. It is somehow comforting. He had some aftershave, possibly stolen from... Nope, his dad is a drunk just like mine (Everyone knows everyone in a small village, everyone knows that hah). So the aftershave is... His own? Or his big brothers. It was nice, not too strong.
The night goes by, we dance and I try to loosen up a little. I love seeing how the hall fills up with people when a slow dance drops from the speakers. This time it was Toni Braxton and Unbreak my heart that plays as I watch a boy coming towards us, Sinea pokes my side and I eventually realize that it is Jonah. He stops in front of me and he offers me his hand. I look at him, take his hand and he nods at me. Not a single second of a smile from either of us. He leads me to the middle of the floor, does not settle to a side or a corner. He then pulls me close and as I am about to put my hands behind his neck he shakes his head. He slides my hands under his arms to behind his back before holding me tightly, slowly grabbing onto my hips, pulling me close against him. He gently presses his chin onto my shoulder and I notice he is around the same height as me. I lean the side of my face onto his and he nods. "Let's dance." He whispers and I hear it clear as a day even though the music is banging in my ears. So I hold him tightly from his waist as he holds on to my hips and we find the pace from the first step.
Rest of the night, he sat next to me, held my hand and took me to a slow dance every time one dropped from the speakers. After the last one, he walks me to my jacket and escorts me out. He stops at the parking lot and turns to me slowly, "Good night" He says and presses a kiss right in the corner of my mouth. Not quite a kiss, not quite a friend kiss on a cheek. One that did not give or take too much without permission. "Good night." I say clumsily and he pulls me into his lap once more. "I will see you tomorrow in school." And he lets me go, Nea's dad is picking us up and drops us all to our homes. The girls are asking a lot of questions, but I don't remember any of them as all I could think of was that gentle little kiss. That meant nothing at all yet at the same time it was absolutely everything.
