"If you ever try that shit again, I'll murder you and hide your body parts in a Ziploc bag."
Sapphire Sanders is almost 18 years old, and she's about to graduate high school. She only lives with her siblings, since her parents are basically non exis...
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Okay, so, I know what you might be thinking.
Am I completely insane? Out of my mind? Off my rocker?
Am I Sapphire on a normal day to day basis?
Yes. Yes, I am.
It's not like I actually wanted to go on a date with her. The truth is, I was having my own lady issues.
That bitch that I thought I'd left behind had come after me, and I had told him to tell Sapphire about it so she'd know what's up.
And also so she wouldn't freak out too much if I asked her out.
But seems like I was wrong. She's freaking out.
"Where the fuck did that come from?!" She says, raising her arms above her head in something I'd call confusion and complete disgust.
Ouch.
"Wait- it's not what you th-"
"So this is why you asked me to come after hours? Because you liked me?!"
"No, that's not it, I swear. It's just that i-"
"You're some kind of predator who stalks teenagers, right?" She yells. " Now I get it. You're not a cult member! You're some sort of teenage.. mutant ninja..predator or some shit!"
"Sapphire, I promise it's not what you... teenage mutant what?"
"Yeah, I said it! You're just agreeing to give me fries, and take all of my bullshit because you're a fucking predator ripoff of Donatello-"
"Sapphire." I say, putting my hands on her shoulders. She stops rambling, then glares at me with those stupid, annoying, beautiful blue eyes that I hated staring into.
But I couldn't really help it.
"It's not a real date." I say calmly, speaking to her as if she were a toddler. Which she kind of is, to be honest.
"Is this some sort of excuse they tell you to say in your predator group?"
"Will you just shut up about the predator shit?" I say, shaking her shoulders not too gently, but gently enough to make her shut up. "I don't actually want to date you."
"Well, thank God."
"But - but, I need you to go out with me. For classified reasons."
"Is punching you in the face and getting the fuck out of this place classified enough for you?"
"Fine. There's this girl. My ex. We dated for about two weeks, then she left me for some random dude that she would probably just use."
"Sounds like Rachel." She says under her breath, but I heard her.
The way she said her name made it sound like she had been the one that had murdered Sapphire's churro guy and had buried him in her backyard.
"Now she said she wanted me back and I told her of course the fuck not, but then she spread this stupid rumour that I only rejected her again because I was pining over this quite ugly year one girl, and I obviously was not, so I just panicked and lied that I had a girlfriend who was even hotter than Pierre. That's her name." I say, and her eyes narrow.
