Blinded - Charles Leclerc

Chapter 6

Charles's POV

Maybe I've been too stubborn to see how much I love this girl. I knew I loved her when I told her, no question. But since then I've tried to make myself believe it wasn't serious. That I didn't love her, that she wasn't special, and she isn't my favorite person in the world.

It's harder to tell myself that now that I'm in her hotel room. She's still in her red dress, and I'm trying to keep myself from thinking about that right now, but she's so beautiful.

She's beautiful like Monaco. She's beautiful like Ferrari. She's beautiful like a sunrise in Italy. She's beautiful like herself. All of her is beauty.

But she hates me.

I just had some food ordered up to her room. She doesn't know and I'm thinking she wouldn't be too happy if she did. But I'm worried sick. I noticed it a while back but haven't said anything. I haven't feel like I was in the position to comment on her. But I saw her tonight and I couldn't keep myself from asking. She's everything and I needed to know if she was hurting.

Not that I actually needed her to tell me, I was already sure. I just hope she lets me help her, because I can't loose her. She's the one person I can't loose, and I have to make sure I don't.

Once we arrived to her room, she laid down on her bed. She's been in the same position since. I can tell she's still awake though, but she's got her eyes closed. I lie down on the bed next to her, my feet still on the floor, and with a slight distance between us. I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

"When did this start?" I notice she reacts to my question. She knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"Charles.."

"When?" I might sound harsh, but I can't help it. I feel all of me forcing myself to get it out of her. I hear her sigh beside me and then she props herself up on her elbows. I'm hoping she feels safe enough to talk to me.

"Last year. I can't remember when. It started slowly so I almost didn't notice my it myself, but I've been kind of struggling since." I nod to her and sit up fully.

"And how are you now, like what are your thoughts like." I look at her and I notice her eyes watering up. It's hard for her to even think about.

"It's like I know it's bad for me, and I know I shouldn't. But I can't stop myself, like even though I know it's bad, I fully believe it's what I'm supposed to do." Her words are sad, and I can tell they're honest.

"I want to help you. I really do. I'm just not sure how." She nods. For the first time tonight she doesn't seem repelled by me and I can tell a smile is hiding behind her stern look. "I had some food ordered up here." I notice the slight change in her eyes. A sliver of panic rushed trough her.

"I'm not forcing you to anything, I understand that wouldn't help you at all. But you should eat at least something, okay?" She's sighs and stands up. She looks like she's trying to gather her feelings up, searching for something to say.

When she looks at me, sitting on the bed still, I see a few tears leaving her eyes and right then she turns away from me. That sends me flying up from the bed toward her. Without caring of what she might do I wrap my arms around her. After a few seconds I feel her softening to me and she turns around in my embrace and wraps her arms around my neck.

I feel her breathing slowing down against me and she leans into me more. I pick her up with steady hands and walk us over to her bed. I sit down and then automatically she sits down on my lap, straddling me. When she leans back from me, still not doing anything to get away from me, her cheeks are stained with mascara that has run down.