Hate is a strong feeling - Joseph Descamps

19

Guys please keep in mind that this story is very fictional, like I have never been to any of these cities so it probably doesn't make sense at all. Pour mes go qui habitent à Avignon <3

It's Friday, I'm two hours away from vacation and I simply can't wait. We didn't work that much this week, we watched movies in most of our classes, even our teachers couldn't wait for it to be over. Descamps hasn't been at school since Wednesday and I won't lie, it certainly hasn't made my mood any better. 

on the bright side, I have been able to complain about it to Simone, now that she knows my secret I can finally talk to someone about him. When I got to school on Monday she practically tackled me begging for information after stepping in on our kiss. 

Funny enough, the kiss was in the middle of the dance floor and anyone could have seen us, but nobody has said something about it, so I guess I'm fine. She screamed when I told her about what had happened at my house, and at his.

Luckily Simone understands me so she judged me only a little bit, then she just wanted all the details and had her jaw on the floor the entire time that I told her my adventures with Descamps. She said he was probably sick and that's why he wasn't at school, but yesterday as I went home from school on my bike, I saw his red car with loud music cruising through the streets.

Yes I'm disappointed that I have barely seen him before the break, but maybe it's what I need. To really think about it, but I can't pretend he isn't always on my mind. It doesn't help that I know so little of him, I would just like to have some insight on what he's thinking. 

"Jane?" I look up from my desk, Simone is waiting for me to answer her question that I didn't hear.

"I said are you going anywhere for the break?"

"Yes I am actually, I'm going to my hometown, they are celebrating Carnaval this week-end."

"Wait, where is your hometown?" She asks, with big eyes full of anticipation.

"Uhm, Avignon, why?"

"No way !" She screams, making a few heads turn, as well as our teachers that scolds her for the noise, her cheeks turn red as she comes down of her excitement and turns to me.

"We always go to Avignon for Carnaval, most people our age that live here do, it's the closest exciting thing that happens here"

I feel a little flame of hope burn in my stomach, would that mean that Descamps is also going? She tells me about everything that happened when they went last year and I feel like weird thinking of how close I was to her, without actually seeing or knowing her. Maybe it was meant to be for me to come here and meet these people. 

As the two hours of history fly by, we discuss our plannings for the week-end and when we'll be joining each other. She's going to meet my friends and I know this week-end is going to be chaos. 

The next day

I've just stepped off of the bus, my ass hurts and I desperately need to go to the toilet, as I'm contemplating where my first stop will be I'm practically getting tackled by someone. Of course, Alex, my best friend is jumping around me screaming. I embrace him in a hug and we start to jump around and scream. 

"Mon bébé, finally back from the dungeon!" 

Alex and I have known each other since we were four years old, this has been the longest we have ever been apart, but we have called each other everyday since I left. 

"Girl, I have something to tell you, there is a tiny chance that Descamps will be here for Carnaval"

He starts to jump and screams "My baby is gonna get laid" I burst out laughing. 

Alex has been more invested than me in my story with Descamps, he keeps saying that if he were gay he would've dated him himself. Oh and he wants me to lose my virginity, I'm the only one who hasn't done it yet and he's convinced that Descamps will be the one to take it from me.

I'm not quite sure tho, I imagine him to be the type to run away when telling him you're a virgin, so I haven't gotten my hopes up. We quickly get to his house where I'll be staying, I greet my dog who I have missed dearly. 

Ok it's not my dog but I have been baptised as her mother, so it's also my dog, her name is Fleur and she is the greatest dog on earth. We quickly start to get ready for our first night, we are meeting with Carla. We have been a trio for three years when we met her in middle school. I have to be fresh as a flower because I'll be seeing everyone I know from my old high school. 

It's not because I don't live here anymore that I shouldn't try to impress my old crushes. 

After a few glasses of rosé we get into town on our bikes, screaming all the way, we haven't seen each other in so long that we have to take out all our energy that has been building up until this very moment. Once we have found Carla and downed two more glasses of wine we head to the Carnaval. 

Ok, I have been here for exactly seven minutes and I have already seen two of my enemies and my ex, Julien.

Ok ex is a bit of an exaggeration, we dated for a week three years ago but he spent months talking to me when he didn't care about me. I kind of never got over it, it's the closest thing I have ever had to a relationship and I will always slightly hate him for the way he ended things, even tho we stayed friends.

Yes I know staying friends with your ex is the worst thing you could do, but we were in the same friend group so I didn't really have a choice. 

He hugs me tightly, then his best friend, Aaron does the same. We all met each other at middle school and stayed in contact, Carla doesn't really like them but she stands by with Alex waiting for us to do our reunion. 

"So how are you enjoying your new town ?"  Julien asks.

"It's fine, they are rich and hot so I have been enjoying myself."

Aaron laughs and taps me on my back, he is the kind of guy that you dream of having, he's tall,  funny and insanely charming. I have always secretly had a tiny crush on him, but then again I have that with most of my guy friends. Unfortunately he is way too hot so I could only have him in my imagination. I have come to peace with it, tho. Julien is also tall and funny, and hot, but he sort of turned into a fuckboy when he had a major glow up last year.

Yeah I dated him when he was ugly and he still did me dirty, but it's fine I have also came to peace with that. Besides I have someone else on my radar.

I would be lying if I denied the fact that I have been scanning the crowds like a mad women, desperately trying to find a brown eye patch in the crowd. Maybe if I stop thinking about him he'll appear out of nowhere. 

I get distracted by my inpatient friends that drag me through the thick crowd to go order drinks, just as they do I see a tall head of blonde curls fly by me. I abruptly stop my steps trying to find him, but the crowd is going the other way and five seconds pass before I'm lost between people of all ages, running screaming drinking. I struggle to find my friends again and look at the crowd one last time with disappointment.

This is not over, I will find him.