Hate is a strong feeling - Joseph Descamps

2

I look at myself in the mirror, I'm wearing a grey skirt with a white blouse and my brown curls are in a half-up ponytail. Yes I might get called a whore on my first day but I don't care, I don't know anyone and might as well be hot. I finish up the last touches of my make-up, a light pencil line to accentuate my eyes and a little colour on my lips. As I arrive in the kitchen my mom excitedly greets me before slowly looking me up and down, I watch as her face goes from joy to slight disappointment and disagreement. 

" Hi sweetie....Are you going to wear that? On your first day?"

"Good morning mom, yes I will, glad to see you enjoy it as much as I do" I say giving her a big smile.

" Oh come on Jane, you know I always love what you wear and you look beautiful in anything, but I don't know... we're not in the big city anymore you know, I'm not sure the school will find it..appropriate." 

"Yeah I know that mom, I just want to feel pretty, it's the only thing that makes me excited about this terrible day." I look down at my skirt and pull it down a little, maybe it's a tad bit too much but oh well.

My mom gives me a soft smile, she knows how hard this is for me. Then she switches up and starts to stress me about being late, so I kiss her and my dad goodbye and they wish me luck as I step on my bike screaming that I will never forgive them for sending me to a boys school. 

As I'm biking down the road I had gotten familiar with in the summer, I look around me. Yes I hate this place but oh my it is beautiful, going through the forest and fields I try not to think about the lump that is growing in my stomach from the stress, and I think I need to poop. I shouldn't have smoked that cigarette before leaving. I manage to get lost and take three wrong turns but after what feels like hours I see the building getting closer. Ok now I'm really shitting myself. I lock my bike the furthest I can from the school and slowly walk towards the gate.

"Oh my god" I whisper to myself as I approach the school yard. There is not one girl in sight. I thought this was a mix school where the hell are the girls, I watch in horror as all the boys slowly start to notice me and I hear whispers and giggles erupt from the crowd. In that moment I seriously consider running away and never coming back but then I hear something behind me.

"Psssst pssssttt"

I look back in confusion, what the hell? Suddenly I see her, a girl is standing, or hiding may I say behind the gate and making weird signs with her hands telling me to come to her. I run to her and she starts to whisper scream " Thank God! I thought I was the only girl here" She then proceeds to hug/strangle me and I just let myself go as a deep feeling of relief washes over me. 

"Listen to me, from now on we are one, what is your name" She squeals "Simone! and don't worry you're not getting rid of me, your'e warned" I tell her my name and she tells me her backstory and I do the same. Suddenly we hear a mans voice coming from the school and watch as all the boys start to gather in front of the school, we quickly make our way through the gate and watch from a distance. 

"Do you also feel like someone is looking at us?" I look at Simone " Girl it's because everybody is." She looks back and I see her expression turn into disgust as she notices that in fact, everybody is looking at us, or so I thought. "Shut the fuck up!" I hear Simone say and I look back confused. Then I see her and I repeat Simone's words " Shut the fuck up!" 

A blond, absolute bombshell walks through the gate and that's when I realise that the boys weren't even looking at us but her, we watch as she walks by, her blue dress fitting perfectly with her blond hair and her innocent look. Listen, I was prepared to like her and put my crippling insecurities beside me for this girl, but as she walked right past us to go stand alone in a corner my mouth hangs open from shock. "This bitch!" My exact thoughts Simone, my exact thoughts. She just walked passed us, where is the feminine support we need on this terrible day??! From that moment we decide we don't like her. 

The teacher is still speaking about the rules or whatever and  I start to scan the crowd of boys. I see every kind, tall, short, fat, skinny, ugly, charming, scary, nerdy and the list goes on. As I run my eyes over the boys I lock eyes with one. "Fuck he's hot" I tell Simone who looks at me then at the boy I'm watching. He's sat on a bench with two other guys and he just stares at me with a bored expression. " I don't know Jane, he's kind of scary" I look at her, shocked, from her betrayal. "Ok but admit it, he's hot!" She looks at him a little longer. "Yeah he's hot" I laugh satisfied but quickly get serious again when I see him laughing with his friends as they talk and look at us, he then sends me a nasty look as he takes a drag from his cigarette. Alright....

I take Simone's arm to get away from this weird situation and drag her to the left of the building where sheets are hanging with names, this must be our class lists. There are two boys standing by the lists, looking for their names. Surprisingly they introduce themselves to Simone and I, one is a tall brunette and incredibly handsome and the other one is a shorter skinny blonde. It's mostly the blonde one speaking, he's called Alain Laubrac. The other one doesn't say his name. I notice Simone practically drooling over the tall one and before I get to say something the bell goes off and everyone starts to get in the school. 

  Luckily Simone and I are in the same class, unfortunately the blond bombshell betrayal girl also is, but what do I care. We head  in the back of the class and as I'm trying to sit down someone bumps my shoulder making me stumble back. "This fucking bitch" I whisper to myself, it's the guy from the bench. He doesn't even bother to look at me or apologise and walks off to go sit with his friends. "I take back everything I said about that dude I hate him and he's ugly" Simone laughs, then looks me dead in the eyes; "The brunette from earlier is mine." I laugh, loud, too loud and suddenly the whole class is looking at me. Shit, I hadn't even noticed everyone was sitting already, and the teacher looks me up and down.

"Care to share what you find so funny, young lady?" I blush and mumble an apologie under my breath as Simone tries to control her laugh. The rest of the class laughs at me and I hide myself with my book. This is not a good start....