Shiddat

twenty six

Taha's POV

"I was about to claim her, but suddenly my body started shivering, and a cold chill ran down my spine.

"You can't do this, Taha," my mind roared.

"See, this is the punishment for your sins; your body is not helping you when you actually wanted to make love to your wife," my heart mocked at me.

Tears came to my eyes. I immediately pulled away and put my head on her chest, unwillingly starting to cry.

"Is this really my punishment? Why is my heart feeling heavy and my body shivering when I was about to claim her?

"And why the hell is she throwing herself on me? And how does she know these things?

"Argh, stupid man, you are the one who explained these things to her.

"I will tell her about my past truthfully. And let her decide what she wants .I've made up my mind.

"But what if she leaves after knowing?" my mind asks.

"She will not leave you," my heart replied.

With every ounce of courage, I tell her everything, and her reaction amuses me. She is okay with my past?

"And when she reveals that the stupid bastard is not her fiance, my happiness knows no limit.

"I want peace, and I know how to get it.

"So, without wasting time, I latch my mouth onto her left globe, and I don't know when sleep consumes me.

My eyes open around 4 am to pray tahajjud, as it has become one of my habits. How could I forget my Allah after my dua e mustajab? After repenting for my sins, she is the only one I asked Him for, and when Allah finally blesses me, then it's injustice not to offer my gratitude.

After staring at the beauty beneath me for a few good minutes, I kissed her forehead and covered her naked body with the help of the duvet.

I didn't bother to put anything on my bare body because I will take a bath directly.

I pick up my clothes from the closet, a white comfy Pathani, and rush to the bathroom.

Taking a quick bath, I make ablution and come out of the bathroom.

It's already 4:30.

I take out my prayer mat, on which she used to pray.

I pray nawafil namaz and then bend down in prostration.

Automatically, tears well up in my eyes because my Rabb blesses me with the love of my life.

Rubab, for whose attainment, I cried every night in solitude before Allah, is now just a few steps away on my bed.

I cried and pay my gratitude to Allah for giving me my ajr, my Rubab.

My head is still in sajdah.

I make lots of dua for my baby sister, for a new chapter in her life, and also for Baba Jaan's health.

After some time, when I feel content with my namaz and dua, I lift my head from sajdah and wipe my tears, tears of gratitude and happiness.

My gaze goes to her sleeping figure, and I smile.

I fold my prayer mat and put it in its place.

I sit on the bed near her head.

Phir uske haseen chehre ko dam karte hue, maine uske mathe ko chuma.

"Meri zindagi…"

Then I lay beside her because there is one hour left until Fajr namaz.

I recite darood on her fingertips, as I want her to receive rewards too.