I Four-Letter You

13

13

Unfair

He's not forcing me. He's not even asking for a conversation. I don't know what he's up to. I have many thoughts in my head. Kahit ayaw kong mag-isip pa tungkol sa nangyari noon, 'di ko pa rin mapigilan.

"Baka gusto lang talagang mag-aral dito?" kuryosong sabi ni Essa. She groaned. "Hanggang ngayon binibigyan ka pa rin ng problema, a? Parang sira."

Naramdaman na rin ni Essa na bothered ako sa presensya ni Singco. Little does she know, I'm more than bothered.

Ang daming ginagawa araw-araw sa school, dumadagdag pa siya sa isip ko. Wala namang nagbago. I still hate him. Sa lahat ng tao, siya ang pinaka-hate ko. Sometimes I get swayed, but my hatred for him always wins.

Just... how can he act like nothing happened? Dahil nagpanggap ako na wala ng pakialam sa nangyari, o sa kaniya? I still think I deserve an explanation.

"Do you want coffee?" he asked when we were left alone in the SSC room. Katatapos kong mag quiz. Walang katapusang quiz, preparation na rin para sa board exam after graduation.

He's still soft just like before. At sa akin lang. Iyon ang isa sa mga napansin ko.

"No."

Kaming dalawa lang ang nandito kaya pwede sigurong 'wag nang magpanggap. Nakakapagod ring magpanggap na okay lang sa akin lahat kahit ang totoo ay hindi naman.

"Uhm, juice?" he asked again. Nasa gilid ko siya, nakatayo.

Tutok ang mga mata ko sa laptop. Inaayos ko ang upcoming event namin para sa Valentine's day.

"Hindi ka pa kasi kumain. Wala ka bang ibang gusto?"

Ang gusto ko, umalis ka sa harap ko ngayon. I wanted to say it, but I didn't. Hindi dahil hindi ko kaya. Sometimes , I just hate the thought of hurting other people.

"Hindi ako nagugutom..."

He sighed. "I don't mean to embarass you, Rami—"

"It's Eleyn or Race," I said with annoyance. I don't want to look at him.

"But I could hear your stomach rumbling earlier. You were just too busy to even notice..."

Kumunot ang noo ko at napalunok. Wala akong malay kung nagsasabi ba siya ng totoo.

I sighed. "Kakain ako mamaya." Kung kailan ko gusto. Pero sa totoo lang, gusto ko nang kumain. Naramdaman ko na ang gutom.

"Ano bang gusto mo? I'll buy anything you want. Hindi kasi maganda ang nagpapalipas ng gutom—"

"Kahit ilang araw pa akong hindi kumain, maganda pa rin ako," I murmured. "Please, you're so loud. Busy ako..."

He sighed. Tumayo pa nang ilang segundo sa tabi ko bago umalis. When I stole a glance of him, I caught him smiling. I rolled my eyes.

Pinatawag ako sa Dean's office kaya iniwan ko muna ang office. Nang nakita si sir MJ, may hula na ako kung tungkol saan 'to. At talaga namang gumamit na ng dahas. Si Dean.

"Since you didn't accept my encouragement, I will have to make it mandatory for you..." he said in front of the Dean.

"Sir, I don't have knowledge about photography. Pwede naman pong iba..."

"We need your ideas and creativity, Eleyn. You and Theo are a good match."

Good match? Wala namang malisya sa pagsabi ni sir pero pakiramdam ko may nakatagong pang-aasar.

I sighed.

"You'll get two points from this task, Ms. Miriazo. I know you're aware all of the fourth year students right now are 7 liners in my subject," the Dean spoke.